Like they said in the old TV series, "just the facts mam". I am a middle aged, married, straight, cross dresser. I share my home not only with my wife but 3 dogs. A shit-zu and 2 shar-peis. I am employed as a dealer in a casino on the Las Vegas Strip and it is a job that I enjoy very much. I guess you could call me a people person. Though I don't wear a sign that says "Cross dresser" I am open about it and most of my friends and neighbors know and so far none have treated me any different after the initial shock wore off. I took over the raising of 4 wonderful children when I married Diane (she was widowed) and they all know and really don't seem to care one way or the other. The 2 boys have even gone out in public with Mindy, and just this past few weeks both of the girls had a night out with me. I have to say we had a wonderful time (wonder if it is becuase both of them picked out clothing from my closet). They are all grown and have their own life's so we don't see them much but they do keep in touch and they try to visit at least once a year. This is my 2nd and from all indications my last marriage. Diane is very supportive of my cross dressing as you can see from the pics she is in on this site.

Like most cross dressers I find it hard to express why I do it. I have been doing it off and on most of my life (you know all about those purge times) and have been public and unashamed for the last few years. Was it my environment? Could be. I come from a family that was mostly fem. Mom, 4 sisters, and a workaholic dad who was not home much as I was growing up. In my preteen years I spent most of my summers with my great grandmother, grandmother and a maiden aunt. As you can see there was a very strong female influence in my life. Until the last few years I felt a lot of guilt and shame about my cross dressing. My 1st wife would not tolerate it at all even to the point of tossing out any fem articles she found hidden around the house. She would not talk about it at any time unless she was angry (she was angry a lot) and then used the issue as a weapon. Any way that part of my life is in the past now. All I can say for sure about my cross dressing is that I know it makes me feel good when I am dressed. When I was in the closet there was a strong sexual feeling associated with it and of course I had the "damm am I gay thoughts". Now that I can reflect on it most of the fantasy's I had revolved around women. Today now that I can for the most part dress when ever I wish and go where I like to dressed the feeling is more one of relaxation. I am not sure just how much other cross dressers change mentally and emotionally when they dress but I feel like a completely different person as Mindy. As Mindy I enjoy piano bars, nice dinners, conversation with my friends, shopping and even golf. When I was 1st going out I did try some of the wild side of the community. The over the top T-bars ect. but in the end I found that the gentle side of the community was more suited to my taste. Often on days off or evenings at home I will dress in a comfy skirt and blouse or dress, no makeup, wig or high heels and just relax watching TV or chatting on the puter with my friends. I find that the times I do this usually come after or during times of stress or after a hard day at work. Do I desire to become a full time T, I don't think so, in fact I think being full time would actually diminish the enjoyment I get from it. Could I go back in the closet. Not ever.

As a T one of the hardest things to ever do is coming out. When I decided to tell Diane I was afraid that it might damage our marriage beyond repair. Why did I decide to tell her? Because I couldn't live the lie anymore. I had reached a point where I knew cross dressing was a part of me that would never go away. I had tired the purge several time and always went out and bought more stuff within a few months. I talked to people on the internet. They all told the same stories. Thanks to several friends on the net I learned that it was not a sickness (cross dressers cant be "cured") and that I was not alone. One evening I decided it was time and I simply told Diane I was a cross dresser. Of course her 1st question back was "are you gay?", 2nd was "are you gonna want a sex change operation?". I think she was very relived to get a "no" to both questions. After talking for a while she wanted me to go get my "stash" so she could see what I was wearing. To my suprise rather then telling me to toss the stuff out and don't do it anymore she asked me to put on some of the outfits and then started to laugh. Her reaction was if I was going to do this I sure needed some fashion advice. She then had me try on some of her outfits and was very patient to explain why some would work for me and some would not. She even went out the next day a bought me a blouse that she felt would work well for my wardrobe and of course some of my "slutty" things went to the thrift store. She even sewed a prom dress for me as I had confided that one thing I felt I had missed out on in my life was going to the prom in fem. A few months ago we were talking about the Mindy part of my life and I asked her to tell me honestly how she felt about it. She said if it were her choice I wouldn't be a cross dresser but since I was we would make the best of it. Her feelings were that since I was a good husband that my little "hobby" should not make any difference in our relationship.

Of course in the beginning I thought just being able to dress at home without having to hide it from Diane would be enough, but one step forward and I realized the journey was just beginning. A net friend was coming to Las Vegas and she said it would be so much fun to meet someplace as gals and have a drink. Of course I was intrigued. Out in public in fem. I knew a lot of girls did it. Would it be safe? What if somebody I knew saw me? Diane of course wanted nothing to do with it. She said if I really wanted to (you know the standard wife way of saying no while saying yes). I could go but no way was she going with me. So the day arrived. I had been playing with makeup as a neighbor of mine was a makeup artist and after helping me with my David Letterman Look (I time to time do walk arounds at parties as Letterman) I mentioned I also cross dressed but never did makeup. He not only helped me with my makeup the 1st time but got me the book "Making Faces". I spent hours getting ready. Trying to get the makeup right, fuss with the wig, trying on outfits. Finally I was ready. The sun was down (no way was I going out of the house in daylight) and Diane had opened the gate on the driveway for me so all I had to do was dash to my car and get going. Ladies may perspire but honey a T out for the 1st time sweats like a pig. All the way to the bar my mind was going 100 miles an hours, what if the cops stop me, what if I have an accident, what if somebody who knows me pulls up beside me at a traffic light, why didn't I take Diane's car. Made it to the bar and didn't see my friends car in the parking lot so I decided to circle till she showed up, she was doing the same thing. At last we meet we were so excited that we walked into the restaurant next door to the bar instead of the bar. Oh I almost died. Finally we found the right door and it was probley comical as we timidly made our way up the hall to the bar. Suddenly the bartender says in a voice for all the world to hear "HI LADIES". Wow at once I felt at home. Needless to say the evening was fun after that and I still see my 1st public T friend whenever she comes to town and the bar "Keys of Las Vegas" is one of my favorite places. Since that time I have started going out in daylight (wow did that get the neighbors attention) and going to non T places dressed, such as casinos, restaurants, shopping malls (oh by the way at least at the Penny's here they will help you make sure you get the right bra). I have only had one bad experience in a regular shop (the manager no longer works there) and never at a casino or in the general public. I did however have a major hassle at a "T-friendly bar" and no longer do myself or my friends go there. My neighbors all accept the fact that the "guy" over there is a little strange but still stop and talk and we do some mutual help stuff in the neighborhood. My friends are still my friends. Even one who I was sure would totally freak out. His reaction was "why the hell didn't you tell me before?". Oh he still wont wear a dress *LOL*.

*Crossdressing is not a crime (at least not in any state I know of). It is however a crime to misrepresent your identity to a peace officer. If stopped by the police for any reason present your male id. I know there is a group trying to sell female ID cards for the T community. Be aware in most states use of the ID's is not legal (in fact I can not confirm they are legal in any state). I have been stopped by the police twice while dressed. In both cases the officers were polite and in neither case was I hassled (in fact in neither case did I get a ticket). I did however present my state issued male drivers license.

It is OK to use a female bathroom in many cases. However be aware even it the state you are in has no law regarding bathrooms usually the business can make its own rules and enforce them. Use common sense. Don't go into a busy female restroom unless the business specifically says it is OK. Don't linger. Don't start a conversation with a gg in a bathroom. If asked to leave or not use the female bathroom do not argue or make a scene. Final note on this issue, it is usually more of a problem to use a men's room while dressed so in doubt ask somebody if it is OK. One additional note. I have had a meeting with some local police officers. They feel that it is better for a CD to use the bathroom they are dressed for as it thier experience it results in far fewer problems. However they did state that they cannot make policy for individual establishments.

Shopping. Most stores care more about sales then who they sell to. I have only had one hassle in a clothing store and after a call to the company headquarters the store manager was fired. Other then that instance I have never been refused the use of the dressing rooms and most sales people are usually very helpful or call somebody who will help you. I shop in many main stream stores including JCPennys and Sears and have always had very good treatment. Again use common sense. Ask before you use the dressing room (in some cases I have been asked to wait till the gg customers are done). If you have a question or need help wait till the sales person is free of gg customers. Avoid thrill shopping. Do not ask to try stuff on just for fun unless it is a shop that knows you and has make it plain they don't mind. Only try on clothing you have seriously considered buying. Be a repeat customer. If they treat you nice the 1st time return again and again. I have an excellent relationship with several shops who even call me when they have items they know I like on sale. Keep your sense of humor. Some sales clerks are gonna laugh. It's natural. This especially happens a lot if you shop in male mode for fem clothing. Remember your dollar goes as far toward the profit line as any gg's dollar does. If you have a problem in a store be polite but ask to talk to a higher authority.

My way to deal with it is I walk tall and proud. I am a T an I am not ashamed. When people look at me I smile and say hi before they can react if posable. 99% of the time they say hi back. Oh sure some giggle, some wolf whistle and some even make rude comments. Actually not that many. But they do and if you carry yourself proud and don't react they go away (unless in a bad section of town then What the Hell are you Doing There?). I have been out dressed to major casinos, mainstream restaurants, even the Las Vegas Airport. Never more then a snicker or a comment. A class lady never reacts. Your reaction is what they want so deny them their fun.

Children will not be warped if they see dad in a dress. I have chatted with many cross dressers who dressed in front of their kids and many kids who have cross dressing dads. None that I have found turned out cross dressing children. Young children just see it as daddy dressing funny. Older kids just think dad is a little bent but if you are a good dad they wont hold the pink mini skirt and lace blouse against you. Of course don't dress when their friends come visit *LOL*. Remember if you don't embarrass them they probley wont mind. Just a note. I once helped a 20 something son of a cross dressing friend get femmed out for his dads "drag" b-day party. Dad of course was embarrassed. Sons reaction "It was interesting but not something I think I will do again".