(te he he) I'm in college, y'all. It's sort of twilight zone-ish. Like, "What the hell am I doing here?".
Hit my first frat party. Probably had my first "real" contact with drinking beer. I mean I've had beer before but...well not really. Just one cup, so nothing terribly special. It tastes so horrible, i don't think I could ever do it regularly. But I'll admit, I am curious to experience the infamous "drunk" feeling. C'mon, lemme have a story! Right now, I mean people do know that I don't do all that stuff, but I've lead the lie (so well I believe it myself) that when people convey their stories of hung overs, and silly drunk mistakes, I laugh and nod my head. (Who am kidding, I have no idea what they're talking about!).
Well, I did wonder if I would be the drinking/party type, but I think...that actually...I won't be one. I used to joke that I would just stay home everynight in my dorm, uh, maybe I will. But this kind of sucks. And I am getting kind of lonely. I mean me and Ky haven't spent anytime with each other really. I mean that's okay, but I do kind of need a pal.
Like tonight, there were all these activities going on, but I couldn't participate cuz it was getting dark and I didn't have a "protection buddy." I mean that sucks!
I can't believe how tired I am and it's only just brushing near 10:00. And I was tired at 8:00. I think I'm going to go take a shower. I have a 7:30 tomorrow morning. But it's my first week, I'm thinking I may even leave enough time to hit breakfast before I go ;) It's over in North campus. Oh my goodness, it's not 10? ....then that means K is still in class right now. That would suck sooooo bad. I hope my 5-8 night class isn't that bad.
Ky came home and hugged me. She's going through the whole pms thing to. (What a time, huh?) I mean I think we're probably both emotional peeps in general. So add in all these changes, and situations on top of our period and now we're silly and crying and don't know why.
I'm showing the first signs of a cold. But I'm going to try to stay strong. I don't think I could handle getting sick so quickly.
There's all thse things I want to say, but I don't know...I sort of feel just like rambling. So I guess I'm sorry if this gets confusing or boring. :)
I wonder what I'll do this weekend. Dan gave me an invite to hang with him on Friday. And that sounds like fun. I wanted to call Mike from work though and see if I could get a hook up with him. That might end up being interesting ;). Mike/Dan, Mike/Dan. I can't decide. On Saturday I've made a pre-commitment to go to Tim's house and eat dinner with his family and with this girl Eris who is back from the Marines. I hope that isn't really weird with me there, I don't know. I mean I do want to see Eris, and it would be fun hanging with Chris, Eris, and Tim.
Of course you don't know what's up with Tim do you? Well the Friday after we broke up...that's four days later if you're counting...we actually went on a "date" and ended up kissing. Not making out, mind you. ;) And it was soo nice. Like everything just was real sweet. We didn't have problems talking or hanging, and we went to a movie and held hands and afterwards sat outside his house, just kind of holding each other in the cold. I think he's definitly still interested in an "us." I kind of like where we are. Like someone once described this developing situation/relationship with someone we knew, me and Tim have now become friends with benifits. And isn't this the best place to be?
Especially for us. I mean it just makes sense. We still like each other, so there's that good base, of hang out/get together desire. We can't always see each other, but we aren't "going out" so it's okay if we don't. There aren't any hidden obligations or assumptions. I mean if I don't see him all week...that doesn't mean I can't go out Friday...so I can see him; because we aren't exclusive. Exclusive in partner, exlusive in time...we are simply "seeing each other" but outside of a permanent relationship. Of course this does bring about some problems. I mean how exactly do you define this kind of relationship...because it's not really one...but it is. It also has some blurred lines of [what you're allowed to do?].
He kissed me in public today. Right across the table we were eating dinner at. (I loved it!) Hey, maybe I could be a PDA girl after all. Just need a little practice, and some efforts made in moderation.
Alright, I would love to chat more, but I got to go to bed so I am rested for tomorrow...(darn just poured out a bowl of pretzels!!)
