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Welcome to Galactic Olympian Deities, Inc., and, moreimportantly, to our newly-established Internet Web site.
Your first question may well be who or what are we. Or what do we think weare. That's simple. We are "the Gang" that owns the universe: literally, theGalaxy as it is, as it has always been. We have debated since the beginning of Real Time,actually, since the beginning of the Christian Era (C.E.), about whether to go"public," to come "out of the closet," so to speak, and to Revealourselves, our very existence, to you and to the entire world. Yes, to planet Earth. Butnot until the epiphany of the Internet has the GOD Inc. Board of Directors thought itessential and practical to update you?i.e., to bring you"into the loop," or, as some board members are fond of saying, "to comeclean,"?to tell you the truth about your origins, yourantecedents ("ancestors," as you say), your very place in cyber space.
So, sit back and relax, for have we got a story to tell you.
To describe in one short sentence our Company's philosophy and ambitions, or, intheological or corporate jargon, "Our Mission," we should say something like:"To become the leading purveyor of truth and wisdom in the Universe. That is no smallorder, but we at GOD Inc. have taken on greater tasks, and we feel confident that we willsucceed in this one.
Earth is a wholly-owned subsidiary of Galactic Olympian Deities, Incorporated,"G.O.D., Inc.," for short, "GOD Inc.," for shorter yet. Yes, we arepublicly traded corporation, but, alas!, not on Earth. We are a closely held corporation;therefore, our shares rarely if ever change hands. You could say that we are a familybusiness, not unlike La Cosa Nostra; this is Our Thing, and, as you might expect, we keepit in the family. So, please, do not send your broker to NASDAQ or to the New York StockExchange in hopes of finding us. Our corporate headquarters is located in the beautifulJupiter Hilton; yes, we call Jupiter our galactic home.
You, too, will call it home. After the publication of these Internet documents, afterwe "tell what has to be told," as our CEO has urged, the doors of GOD Inc.'sheadquarters will be thrown open to the living, and you will be invited to spend timethere with us, to walk among the Immortals and the Dead.
Our president and CEO, as you may have guessed, is the great god of Ancient Greece,Zeus, the Olympian, "Zeus, the Father;" or, as the Romans slurred it, "ZeusPater," by which corruption he has gotten his popular name, "Jupiter,"which he also answers to quite happily. Quite the confident man! Quite the confident god!GOD Inc.'s CEO takes it all in stride and answers to anything he is called. Talk abouttolerance! Rightly, you may wonder why we have digressed and taken twentyseconds of cyber time to talk about one Greek god's good name. Well, he is, after all, ourone and only CEO, the CEO to end all CEOs, and we are very fond of him. Should you meethim, especially in his "digs" in the Rotunda at the Jupiter Hilton, we thinkthat you will like him, too. Not to suggest any disrespect for your people, but "ourguy" is the Boss of Bosses. Just as you have One True Church, we have the One TrueChairman of the Board. No, not Francis Albert Sinatra, the late, great saloon singer. But Zeus.
In the Office of the President, Zeus has the support of two loyal brothers, atriumvirate that supercedes the authority of the Board. He has other siblings, butPoseidon, whose province is the Sea, and Hades, whose province is the Underworld (your"underworld" or "mob" pales in comparison to the havoc that Hades'goons and three-headed dogs can wreak), are his two lieutenants. They have stood by himand by the Corporation during the recent "troubles"?yes,we have them, too?brought about by a rebellious cadre ofdisgruntled Titans and Old Testament prophets who have threatened to take Earth private ina leveraged buyout (LBO) to liquidate it for its precious metal and mineral assets. That'sbad business, we think; we, too, have our our interests and our families to protect."It ain't no different everywhere," as Yogi said.
At this time, we want to direct your attention to The Rationalist Papers,named in honor of a series published two centuries ago in the United States. Those papershelped to define the Republic, to challenge Royalist views, and to give birth to theConstitution of the United States of America. Quite a document! Though we do not wish tosurpass nor even to challenge the breadth of learning in those fine papers, drafted forthe most part by James Madison, and, thereby, earning him the title "The Father ofthe Constitution" (overwhelmingly, our best dead scholars rank his writing "upthere with oxygen" and the works of the Immortals), we, nonetheless, hope that ourlittle series of papers will enlighten you and enjoy a modest measure ofsuccess, as the Federalist papers did when Messrs. Madison, Hamilton, and Jay penned them.
Not confident that you will believe us, CEO Zeus wants us to assure you that we are indeed talking about him, the CEO of Galactic Olympian Deities, Inc., the god whom billions and billions of "Blue Dot" Earthlings have been taught is a mere mythical being, a concoction of the blind poet Homer's frothing brain, a horny, profligate pig in the great literature of Ancient Greece. Yes, he loves the old stories that they tell about him, but he is quite "the god." Quite "the man!" Quite dedicated to his Company and its mad subsidiaries.
A minor note, but one that is important. We do not want you to misinterpret what we say in these historic pages as in any way disrespectful. To wit: Zeus would prefer that we do not capitalize the word "god" nor the pronouns that we use in reference to him, and, of course, we shall respect the Immortal's wishes.
On a happier note, the Executive Board at times "unofficially" consults with Zeus' daughter, Athena, goddess of wisdom, war, and anything else she takes a liking to, including Dr. Benj. Franklin, American, who happens to be a prot駩 of Zeus' and who has recently joined the Galactic team.
Elsewhere on this Web site, we have the kind permission of The Galactic Standard and Times to reproduce its news report and related stories on the resignation of Sir Jesus of Nazareth?after a two-thousand-year stint as CEO of planet Earth?and on the appointment in his place of acting-CEO Benj. Franklin, revolutionary, printer, scientist, satirist, inventor, and builder of towns and nations.
Just as we have the non-fiction novel, so it was inevitable that some clever author would come along and "invent" the non-news documentary. The former develops a news story in the form of fiction; the later, a fiction in the form of a news story. The best example of the non-news documentary, though by no means the first, is Orson Welles' Citizen Kane, a monument to passionate, scathing satire and brilliant, honest filmmaking at every stage in the gargantuan process. Sadly, the "self-conscious" development of this genre will not take place here, for we have only truth to tell.
However, to continue to publish the good news that the Board of Galactic Olympian Deities, Inc., has decided to share with you, we have engaged the good services of an Author. In the language of his contract, "The Author will deconstruct events and present them in the form of a novel," one, we should hope, that you will find delightful and wise. To paraphrase the effect that poet-laureate Robert Frost assigned to poetry, the Board has directed that the Author's "little book" should begin in delight and end in wisdom.
Oh, if that were so!
In the hyperlinks, you will find this work called by many names, including "The Book," as if there were only one (as scholars in the Middle Ages called Aristotle "The Philosopher," and students had no doubt about who that meant) and you can expect that the Author will have divided the books of The Book into chapters, the chapters into . . . , etc., etc., et cetera, ad infinitum. We vouch for its veracity.
The ubiquitous Internet has come along at the right time in Earth's troubled history. The Board had had enough of Mystery, Misery, Murder, and Mayhem; in the end, CEO Zeus voted with the Board, and that sealed it. Besides, the Board found such a hodge-podge of organized and disorganized religions and "hate groups" on Earth, it did not think that the advocates of any one faith could dissuade those of any other from the scourge of crime, hate, and terrorism.
If you want to understand why Zeus demanded that you have total access to the truth and why the only legal remedy left to him was for the Entity to accept the Lord's resignation, click on "The Epiphany of the Internet." After digesting it, follow the hyperlink down to GOD Inc., Press Release 2.
Acting-CEO of Earth, Dr. Benjamin Franklin, deceased, of Philadelphia, has requested that we forward all Galactic Olympian Deities, Inc., e-mail to his attention. America's first Postmaster General, Dr. Franklin has assured the GOD Inc. Board that he will promptly and personally answer all legitimate queries. He asks that you kindly direct your comments and questions to him directly at his Internet e-mail address, Ben_Franklin@email.msn.com, where he assures us he is "alive and well and living in Cyberspace." .
Copyright ? 1998 by Domenic Corsaro
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