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Thief of My Heart
By Laura Jacquez Valentine
Disclaimer: Paramount/Viacom owns Star Trek, the associated universe, and the characters. I am using them for the purpose of this story, I promise I won't break them, I won't sell them to the other kids, and I'll put them back when I'm done.
I read the confusion in Jim's eyes. We
played chess as usual, friends, close and dear friends sharing a game of
strategy. I know what he sensed--my deep contentment, the joy and humor that
have filled me since Pavel took me into his life and his mind. Jim and I have
always been able to sense each other, and I loved him not so long ago. But
recently, my feelings towards him have become the warmth of friendship and
comradeship, and I know he feels the difference. He felt the change, and the
confusion has filled him ever since--
Since I have known the true-bonding, the completion of my
soul.
I thought I would find it with Jim, but I did not. We danced around each other--he refusing to speak, and I afraid to--until it was too late. Until I loved another with a passion I do not understand and could not survive without. The Enterprise was my captain's jealous mistress, his one true love; Pavel, cool and sweet and sharp as wintergreen, was mine.
I had to tell him, but I could not bring myself to do so. He shifted slightly,
his eyes wary, not trusting my mood. I moved a
piece randomly, confusing him further. I studied him, amused, as he frowned at the
board, convinced I'd just done something too clever for him to spot.
file://Stop teasing him and just tell him.// Pavel was across the room,
playing cards, but the bond between us was strong enough that even when I shielded
he could hear me. And talk to me.
file://Is that an order, sir?//
His companions jumped as he laughed. file://It is. Didn't I tell you? Orders were invented in Russia. Now, tell him.//
file://Yes, t'hy'la.//
Pavel, thief of my heart, master of my soul, the man who met my strength with fearlessness and passion. How could I deny him?
He is my refuge, and I his.
And he wanted me to tell Jim.
"Jim."
"Spock?"
"You have noticed a change in my behavior."
"Yes. Are you all right?"
"I am quite well. I wish to tell you something."
"You can tell me anything, Spock."
"Can I? I do not believe that is the case. In the past--"
file://Stop delaying.// Pavel left the card game and
moved close to me, standing just outside Jim's range of vision. I stopped
mid-sentence and looked at my hands.
"Spock?" Jim reached out and touched my hand, and I pulled back. In the same instant, my bondmate was there, his hand firmly at the back of my neck, soothing me. The unexpected touch of the man I had once loved hurt me, shocked me in a way I had not thought possible. There was nothing in that touch but concern and affection, and yet it burned through me like the blood fever.
Pavel, cool as wintergreen, doused the fire.
And he said what I could not. "We would be
honored, Captain, if you would preside at our marriage."
Jim swallowed and sat back. "Well. Congratulations. Of course. When?" I could see the surprise and pain in his eyes, but neither made it to his voice. James Kirk, consummate friend, consummate professional.
"As soon as possible," Pavel answered, smiling. He removed his hand from my neck, smoothing down the hair he'd ruffled.
"A week from today, then?" he asked.
"Thank you, sir," Pavel said, and bowed slightly before leaving. file://I'm going to your quarters, Spock. See you in a little while.//
Jim watched him go. "Spock--"
"He was not joking, Jim."
"I didn't think he was. How long have you two--"
"Long enough."
"And you didn't tell me?"
"Until we were certain, there was no point."
"There's a large difference in rank, Spock. It could be a problem."
"Both he and I are willing to submit to telepathic verification of the relationship, Jim. And he is not in my direct--"
"Spock, he is. You are first officer."
"If it is a problem, I will step down as first officer and remain as science officer."
"Spock--"
"Jim, have you any objections other than that of rank?"
"Do you love him?"
I raised an eyebrow. "Jim, you know better than to ask that."
"If you don't love him--"
"Did I say I did not? He is my bondmate, Jim." I stood and looked down at him. "Please."
He nodded. "Congratulations, then, Spock."
I imitated Pavel's bow and left for my quarters.
Oh, Pavel-kam, to feel you inside me, to have your fingers dig into my side and leave me bruised and satiated, to have the sound of your thoughts within my own and to know your love--
For that, I wounded the man I love as a brother.
For that, I would wound him a thousand times.
Oh, son of Russia, thief of my heart.
