Sisters in Arms: First Impressions/New Beginnings

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0 height="100%"><tr> <td valign="top" width=200 BGCOLOR="#003399" TEXT="#080000" background="03fc8c00erkjxk.jpg"> <div> <B>CJ and Donna reflect on their past and think about the future.</B></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id20.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Sisters Series"><U><B>Sisters Series Home</B></U></A><B> </B></div> </td> <td valign="top" BGCOLOR="#0066CC" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <FONT SIZE="5" COLOR="#99CCFF" FACE="Edwardian Script ITC" ><B>Smiles, Tears, & Happy Endings</B></FONT><FONT SIZE="5" COLOR="#FFFF99" FACE="Edwardian Script ITC" > </FONT><FONT SIZE="5" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Edwardian Script ITC" > </FONT><FONT SIZE="5" COLOR="#CC0000" FACE="Edwardian Script ITC" > </FONT><FONT SIZE="5" COLOR="#00FFFF" FACE="Edwardian Script ITC" >  |  </FONT>   <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Smiles, Tears, Happy Endings"><U>home</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id20.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Sisters Series"><U>Sisters Series</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id40.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Sisters in Arms"><U>Sisters in Arms</U></A>   |   <B>Sisters in Arms: First Impressions/New Beginnings</B>   |   <A HREF="id208.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Sisters In Arms A New Chapter"><U>Sisters In Arms~ A New Chapter</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id224.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Sisters In ArmsVigilance Solace"><U>Sisters In Arms~Vigilance &Solace</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id228.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Sisters In Arms Courage Compassion"><U>Sisters In Arms- Courage& Compassion</U></A></div> <div> Sisters in Arms: First Impressions/New Beginnings</div> <div> by Brandy &Shelley</div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div> Impressions/CJ</div> <div>  It's strange how you connect with people that you never thought you'd connect with. Take Donna for example. When she first joined the campaign, I thought to myself, either Josh is going to drive her nuts, or Mandy is going scare her off. In those days, Josh and Mandy were in the midst of their on again-off again sexcapades. I refuse to call what they were indulging in as a love affair; it was more like dueling bedmates.</div> <div>  I'm wandering though…getting back to Donna. I never thought she had it in her to put up with the daily demands of Josh, a Presidential campaign, and Mandy's back-handed bitchiness, not to mention living out of a suitcase on next to no pay. </div> <div> I was wrong. I was happily wrong. This slip of a girl, with her farm girl looks and wide eyes, was a veritable superwoman when it came to organization. She could cull the most necessary facts from pages of research, and have them ready at a moment's notice. And miracle of miracles, she got Josh organized.</div> <div>  Don't smirk friends, this is no small accomplishment. Josh is a smart guy, but he brings disorganization to an art form. Donna got him under control in no time flat. Aside from her organizational skills , I found out that she was smart as hell, and she had an almost diabolical sense of humor. I appreciate that in another woman, especially when she uses her skills for good, and not evil. </div> <div> Take for instance, the day that I was waiting for Josh in his office to have a nice calm discussion with him about the Sam/call girl situation. Donna was perfectly aware that I was there. We had a pleasant little conversation before I went to Josh's office to wait for him. She knew I was there, and she knew why I was there. The fact that she was able to lie to Josh with absolute wide-eyed innocence was one of my first indications that Donna and I would get along like bandits. Partners in crime, so to speak.</div> <div>  Another thing that surprised me about Donna was her strength. I knew about her old boyfriend, or as Josh took to calling him, "Dr. Freeride". Everyone finds out everything about everybody when you're on the campaign trail- well, not as much as I thought, it seems. </div> <div> Anyway, I heard a little about what she'd put up with from that guy, and how long she'd put up with it. So, naturally I wondered if she'd hook up with another loser like that somewhere along the way and leave us. When she left the campaign and went back home to old mistakes, I thought, `well, that's that'. Of course, when she came back a few weeks later with a look of renewed determination , I was really happy for her. She had learned what to walk away from and what to fight for, and in that one moment, I knew she was here to stay. I couldn't have been prouder of her if she was my own sister.</div> <div>  I recognized her strength then, but I marveled at it when Josh was shot. I thought she would cry at some point, or break down, especially after she stood and watched while they operated on Josh. I think she would have stood watch over him until they were done if Abbey hadn't gone in there and told her to sit and get some rest in the waiting room. At that point, nothing less than a directive from the First Lady would have moved her from that spot.</div> <div>  Then later, all during Josh's recuperation, she watched over him, tended him, acted as the gatekeeper to all the people who wanted to see him, for whatever reason. She even had Toby begging her permission for an audience, and Toby doesn't beg anyone for anything. It was about that time when I realized her feelings for Josh were far more complicated than even she wanted to imagine. I didn't say it to her then…maybe I'll never say it, but if any one thing brought Josh through everything that happened to him, it was Donna. She willed him to survive during all those hours in surgery, and she safeguarded him until he was whole again. </div> <div> It takes a special kind of strength and determination to do that. That strength and determination has grown in so many ways since those early days. She has a way of touching people, of getting them to see to the heart of things. That's a talent that is rare and precious. </div> <div> The Donna I see before me now has evolved into a complete and confident woman. I see an inner calm, and a strength that was only hinted at before. I see confidence and compassion in equal measures, and I see an idealism that hasn't been tarnished or tempered by the events of the last year. I look at her and I think that, in some ways, she's the best of us; that spirit , that optimism, the strength of loyalty she has. It's inspiring, and very possibly the one thing that we'll need to get us through the days ahead.</div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div>  Impressions/Donna</div> <bR> <bR> <div>  I can't believe how well CJ is handling this whole MS situation. Sure, it threw her for a loop at first, but she got her balance back right away, and now she is right on top of things.</div> <div>  Of course, I shouldn't be surprised. From the first time I ever met her, back in Nashua, she impressed me. She was everything I wanted to be. She was smart, strong, and completely in control. She was a woman working in a man's world, and not only was she surviving, she was thriving. No matter what the men on the campaign dished out, CJ handled it with grace and humor.</div> <div>  And the best part is, she knows how to pick her battles. She knows when to make a point and when to back off. When she came to me with her plan to ambush Josh, for not telling her about the whole "Sam/Laurie" thing, I got a real peek at just how brilliant she is.</div> <div>  She was trying to make a point about how they shouldn't leave her out of the informational loop. When she let me in on her plan to surprise Josh in his office, I was honored. It made me feel like a real part of the sisterhood. </div> <div> After the whole debacle at the Leadership Breakfast though, she kept quiet. She knew that she had been right, she also knew that pointing that out wouldn't really have been in anyone's best interest. A lot of people, men and women both, would have marched right into Leo's office and demanded acknowledgement, but not CJ.</div> <div>  Toby, Sam and Josh all knew that she had been right, she didn't need to hear them say it. That's real class if you ask me. And I think it really helped her earn some respect in their eyes. That's what I want, I want to be respected. And CJ's respect means as much to me as anyone's, maybe even more.</div> <div>  When I left the campaign, to go back to Wisconsin, she was disappointed in me. She didn't come right out and say it, but I could tell. She knew some of the things that "Dr. Freeride" had done to me, and she thought I was wrong to go back to him. To this day, I can't really tell you why I went.</div> <div>  But when I came back, I saw something in her eyes. There was pride there, and a little more respect. I gained something in her eyes, I think she knew I had learned a valuable lesson during the weeks I was gone.</div> <div>  I should have told her then just how much she had to do with my decision to come back. I should have told her that she inspired me, that she made me want to do more, to be more. I hope she knows that, but I really should say the words just the same. Sometimes people around the west wing forget to say the words.</div> <div>  I'm not sure anyone ever told CJ what an awe-inspiring job she did in the aftermath of Rosslyn. She was amazing. I can't say that I remember much of what she did during that time firsthand, but I remember flashes. I remember seeing her handle the press even though she had just been through a terrible ordeal herself, and people she knew, and loved, were still fighting for their lives.</div> <div>  I remember her picking herself up and doing what needed to be done. Like I said, she is amazing. And the best thing about her is that, she wants to help other women succeed.</div> <div>   Like with the whole filibuster thing. She could very easily have taken the information that I found about Senator Stackhouse's grandson to Leo and the President herself. She didn't have to take me to the Oval Office with her. She didn't have to give me credit. It's kind of funny, I wonder if Josh would have done the same thing in her position?</div> <div>  But now things are really hitting the fan. CJ says that there are going to be some heads that roll during the next few months. I hope not. I really hope that we can find a way to come out of this stronger than we went in. I hope that we can all stick together, and protect each other.</div> <div>  CJ is going to need every bit of strength she has to get through the next few months, but there is no doubt in my mind that she is up to the task. I know that she'll be busy watching everyone else's back, so I am going to try my hardest to watch hers.</div> <div>  That's what sisters do for each other.</div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div>  New Beginnings</div> <bR> <bR> <div>  Donna arrived at O'Malley's Pub first, and settled into a booth near the back of the room. She had been here a few times before, with Josh and Sam, and she loved the atmosphere. It was one of those great Irish pubs that was so authentic, it could easily be picked up and dropped into some little town in County Meath, and look entirely at home.</div> <div>  Donna waited, while the waitress came around from behind the oak bar to take her order. Just as the young redhead was about to approach the table, Donna saw CJ walk in. Donna waved her over, and CJ nodded and made her way through the bar. She settled herself into the booth as the waitress was taking Donna's order, and then ordered her own drink.</div> <div>  CJ took a quick look around, and was happy to see that the crowd consisted mostly of a dwindling group of regulars. She was also relieved that the television over the bar was tuned to ESPN, rather than CNN, or any other news channel.</div> <div>  The waitress returned with Donna's whiskey sour and CJ's tequila in short order, and then scurried off to take care of other customers. When they were alone once again, Donna and CJ reached for their glasses. In an instant, their eyes met, and they arrived at a silent decision. Before either of them took a sip, they raised their glasses and touched them together.</div> <div>  "To Delores Landingham", CJ said, with a trace of a nostalgic smile curving her lips.</div> <div>  "Mrs. Landingham", Donna echoed.</div> <div>  After they drank to Mrs. Landingham's memory, Donna set her drink a little away from her, as she nervously fidgeted with the coaster under the glass.</div> <div>  "You know, it's hard for me to imagine that she was with him for all those years, and she didn't know", Donna said, picking up her glass and taking another sip.</div> <div>  "Maybe she did", CJ remarked.</div> <div>  "Toby told me she didn't know. When he told me, about the President being sick, he made a point of telling me that Mrs. Landingham didn't know."</div> <div>  The strange thing was, that although Donna didn't understand it, the fact that she knew, and Mrs. Landingham hadn't, made her feel slightly guilty.</div> <div>  "Delores Landingham was a very smart women", CJ said, "but she was also very discreet."</div> <div>  "Maybe you're right", Donna nodded. "Because if Josh was sick, I would know it, maybe Mrs. Landingham did too."</div> <div>  "People know things all the time without commenting on them. Like me- I saw things, suspected things, and although I never consciously questioned it, somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew. I just didn't want to know." CJ observed. Donna couldn't help but notice the self-deprecation in her tone.</div> <div>  "Were you scared when you found out?" Donna asked.</div> <div>  "It's hard to define what I felt. Fear was certainly in there", CJ replied.</div> <div>  "I was scared for him too. I couldn't stop thinking what it would mean to him…in the long run, I mean."</div> <div>  "See, that's what I admire about you, Donna. You were totally unselfish in your reaction. Your fear was for him, mine was for how it would affect us…me" CJ replied, and Donna knew by her tone and the look on her face, that she was feeling very guilty about it still. "That's not selfish, CJ- that's realistic. That's your job. You live and breathe damage control, and presenting the best face for what we do. You aren't always able to look at things they way other people do, or even the way you want to. Sometimes you have to focus on what the administration feels, and what you feel gets pushed to the background. I know that's going to make it really hard for you in the coming weeks and months."</div> <div>  CJ was silent for the longest time, and Donna began to think that maybe this wasn't such a great idea after all. It only seemed to be making a bad situation worse.</div> <div>  "You know, I thought our baptism of fire was the shooting. Turns out, that was just the opening salvo."</div> <div>  "Maybe so, but we'll live through this, the same way we lived through that", Donna replied, with some difficulty, remembering the intense emotions in the aftermath of Rosslyn.</div> <div>  "That was different somehow. We weren't fractured the way we are now. The real bitch of it is, we're not as bad off now as we will be a month or two from now", CJ replied, draining her glass.</div> <div>  "That's awfully pessimistic of you, CJ."</div> <div>  "One persons pessimism is another persons pragmatism. Never forget that, Donna."</div> <div>  "I think you've been spending too much time with Toby. It sounds like you're just rationalizing your position", Donna reasoned.</div> <div>  "Really, I'm not. But I can understand how you'd see it that way."</div> <div>  "Look, CJ- you didn't get where you are now by turning your toes up and surrendering. You know what else? Neither did I. You know, more than Josh, more than anyone, what it took for me to come back to the campaign after I left to go back to that waste of nature that I called a boyfriend."</div> <div>  "I did it though. I came back, thinking the whole time that people were snickering behind my back, or that they plain just didn't trust me anymore. I know some of them thought that the next time he crooked his finger, I'd go running right back again."</div> <div>  "I ignored all that though, and I came in early every day, and stayed late every night, and I proved to everyone, and myself, that I am a valuable part of this administration."</div> <div>  "I did that, and so have you CJ. You've made a place for yourself in the "boy's club". You've worked hard, and you've won their respect and their admiration. Toby, Sam, Josh, Leo---they all respect you. You're a fighter, CJ. We both are. We will make this work, and when we're done- people won't remember the mistakes anymore. They'll be too busy remembering all the good we did"</div> <div>  At first CJ smiled, in spite of herself, then Donna's good feeling started to take hold, and she was smiling because what Donna said was starting to make sense. They were both fighters, and they had both gotten through too much in their lives to turn chicken now.</div> <div>  CJ signaled for the waitress, and turned to Donna with a glowing and self-assured grin. "Enough of this drowning our sorrows crap", CJ smiled, as she saw the waitress approach their table, "Do you have Cristal in this place?"</div> <div>  "Yes", the waitress answered, a little wide-eyed at her request, "The owner keeps a few bottles in the back for special occasions."</div> <div>  "Fantastic! You go back there and get one. We're celebrating!" CJ declared, almost giggling, as the waitress scurried off to do as she requested.</div> <div>  "CJ, what is it we're celebrating?"</div> <div>  "The beginning", CJ declared.</div> <div>  " The beginning of what?" Donna asked, happy at CJ's change in mood, but puzzled as to the reason for it.</div> <div>  "The beginning of the fight. The fight that I have every intention of winning. Before we're through, we're going to show them how it's done. You were right. We're both fighters, and we know how to win against the odds, because we've both done it. I never told you, but when you came back to the campaign that time - I was proud as hell of you, as proud as I would have been of my own sister."</div> <div>  "You don't know how much that means, coming from you", Donna replied, getting a little choked up at CJ's words.</div> <div>  At that moment, the waitress arrived with the champagne, and uncorked it for them. CJ poured them each a glass, and after they toasted once again to Mrs. Landingham- this time in style- they toasted to new beginnings.</div> <div>  "You know," CJ said turning to Donna with a grin, " before this is all over, I'm going to have to teach you `The Jackal', cause next time we'll do it together."</div> <div>  At that, Donna laughed out loud, "CJ, I think you're getting drunk now. Everybody knows `The Jackal' is all yours."</div> <div>  "Ah, you just wait and see…we'll start a new tradition. We'll knock them on their asses. Just wait."</div> <bR> <bR> <div>  "We'll see, CJ- we'll see." Donna replied, laughing. </div> <bR> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>