Sisters In Arms- Courage& Compassion

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0 height="100%"><tr> <td valign="top" width=200 BGCOLOR="#003399" TEXT="#080000" background="03fc8c00erkjxk.jpg"> <div> <B>Post-ep to 'The Benign Prerogative' </B></div> </td> <td valign="top" BGCOLOR="#0066CC" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <FONT SIZE="5" COLOR="#99CCFF" FACE="Arial" ><B>Smiles, Tears, & Happy Endings</B></FONT><FONT SIZE="1" COLOR="#FFFF99" FACE="Arial" > </FONT><FONT SIZE="1" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT><FONT SIZE="1" COLOR="#CC0000" FACE="Arial" > </FONT>  |     <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Smiles, Tears, Happy Endings"><U>home</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id20.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Sisters Series"><U>Sisters Series</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id40.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Sisters in Arms"><U>Sisters in Arms</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id42.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Sisters in Arms: First Impressions/New B"><U>Sisters in Arms: First Impressions/New Beginnings</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id208.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Sisters In Arms A New Chapter"><U>Sisters In Arms~ A New Chapter</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id224.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Sisters In ArmsVigilance Solace"><U>Sisters In Arms~Vigilance &Solace</U></A>   |   <B>Sisters In Arms- Courage& Compassion</B></div> <div> Sisters In Arms- Courage& Compassion</div> <div> by Brandy</div> <bR> <div> The night of the State of the Union...</div> <bR> <div> CJ stood by Toby in a corner of the Mural room as the evening began to wind down. They were both enjoying the lingering remnants of a victorious evening. Despite the tragic news of a young man who could no longer endure his 'frozen hell', the evening had been very uplifting. </div> <bR> <div> CJ glanced at Toby as he stood away from the crowd, enjoying- in his own quiet way- the waves of satisfaction ebbing over him at a job well done. He had not only written a brilliant speech, he had found the message- the focus they had needed for so long. He held a glass containing three fingers of sour mash, but had yet to take a sip of it. It was then  CJ noticed that something was distracting him from thoughts of his own quiet jubilee. She followed his gaze to the person he was focused on- Donna. </div> <div>   She watched her for a few moments. The polite, professional smile. The gracious, inocuous small talk that was the foundation of any social/professional gathering... Donna didn't miss a cue. It was as though she were a dancer, executing a particularly complicated routine with charmingly deceptive ease. No one would ever suspect the strain she had been under the last several days, or how compassionatly she regarded her burden.  </div> <div>   CJ then remembered the devastated look on Donna's face when she had appeared in the doorway of CJ's office and relayed the information that Donovan Morrissey had killed himself. Inwardly cringing, she remembered her response - " Who's Donovan?" </div> <bR> <div>   Reaching over, CJ took the glass of whiskey from Toby's hand and, after taking a sip said, " I feel bad." </div> <bR> <div>   Toby retrieved his glass, and  after following her eyes to the spot that CJ's attention was focused on, replied," You're not alone." </div> <bR> <div>   " At least you apologized." CJ muttered, glancing at Toby's glass, then thinking better of it, turned back to where Donna stood, chatting with a few of the pardon recipients. </div> <bR> <div>   " So.... apologize." Toby countered. </div> <bR> <div>   " It's not that simple." </div> <bR> <div>   " That's not what you tell me when it's my turn." Toby replied. When CJ slanted a very telling look at him, he took a sip of his sour mash and asked, " What do you feel bad about- exactly?" </div> <bR> <div>   " When she told me about Donovan... I asked who he was. She was standing there, in my office, with this look on her face- and I was more concerned about..... I was...oblivious. She had to explain something- at a time like that- that I should have known. I just... I feel bad that she had to do that." </div> <bR> <div>   " So... you know everything? Is that it?" </div> <bR> <div>   " No- but that's not the point." </div> <bR> <div>   " What is the point?" </div> <bR> <div>   " The point is- she's always thinking about other people. She's involved and invested in everyone. I knew she was working on the pardon recommendations, and I knew it was getting to her. I just wish I hadn't added to... when she had to tell me- I could see how hard it hit her. I just wish I could have done something to help her." </div> <bR> <div>   " You weren't in the meeting in the Oval- after she met with the Kahlers." </div> <bR> <div>   " Donna met with- no... I wasn't there," CJ replied, feeling an added twinge of guilt at not knowing how heavily invested Donna had been in the Morrisey kid's situation. Realistically, she knew that it wasn't so much a matter of neglect on her part when it came to their friendship. There just hadn't been enough hours in the day to keep up with each other. There had been the usual crazy preamble to the State of the Union, CJ's constant worry over her father's health and of course there was the 'Ben situation'. </div> <bR> <div>   " She was..." Toby trailed off- uncharacteristically at a loss for words. After a few seconds, he continued. " She was something. She was poised and professional, and at the same time she was compelling and sympathetic.You could tell that this kid's situation- not to mention his mother's pleas- had really touched her, but she didn't  give in to her own feelings." </div> <div>   CJ watched as Toby paused, took a sip of his whiskey and then continued. </div> <bR> <div>   " I've had people on the speech writing staff- people who make their living with words- and not one of them has ever been as compelling or articulate as she was that day pleading the case of a stranger." </div> <bR> <div>   CJ felt a smile turn the corners of her mouth and thought how much those words meant coming from Toby. He wasn't the type to praise someone without cause- if at all. Accolades from Toby usually came in the form of one or two words. What he had said about Donna was damn near a soliloquy. She also recalled the moment outside the Oval office when Toby  made that comment about the Morrisey kid's bad timing. CJ knew that he hadn't really meant it as callously as it came out, but Donna had called him on it. Toby- who rarely took chastisement from anyone easily, was immediately contrite. What's more, not only did he apologize, he acknowledged that Donna was right to call him on it. That small moment said a lot about Toby's regard for Donna- and that was merely a reflection of the high regard in which they all held her.  </div> <bR> <div>   " She really has come a long way," CJ observed. </div> <bR> <div>   " Maybe you should tell her that," Toby replied with a pointed look before getting up and walking away. </div> <bR> <bR> <div>   It was a while before CJ found a moment to get Donna alone. As usual, when the evening had been a success and spirits were riding high, everyone was loathe to see it end. CJ also noticed that the very attentive eye of Josh Lyman had rarely strayed from Donna that evening. There was a time when the thoughts accompanying such an observation would have given her a severe migrane. Now- not so much. A lot of things were different than they had been a year or two ago. The things they had all experienced, endured and achieved over the last couple of years made it a little easier not to sweat the small stuff. Not that Josh finally wandering out of the land of dysfunctional relationships to realize that some things were beyond denial was 'small stuff'. It was pretty big- it just wasn't a big problem anymore. </div> <div>   Finally, an opportunity presented itself and CJ approached Donna as she bidding goodnight to a few stragglers. As they finally wandered away, CJ leaned close to Donna and said, " Come along, sister- it's time we make a pilgrimage to our sacred mother of  comfort- the blessed mini-fridge." </div> <div>   CJ noted an array of emotions flitting across Donna's features- surprise, confusion, curiosity, then finally acceptance. </div> <bR> <div>   " Okay. Your office?" </div> <bR> <div>   " Yeah." </div> <bR> <div>   " I've got to tell Josh something, then I'll meet you there.Okay?"</div> <div>   </div> <div>   " Yeah," CJ agreed and  watched as Donna walked over to where Josh stood in conversation with Leo and Toby. She watched the subtle, yet telling body language between the two. It was full of gentle nuance- the light touch on the shoulder, the gentle, almost careless caress at her elbow. She also noticed the underlying gleam in Toby's eyes as he noticed thier interaction.She couldn't miss the gentle,unspoken pride in Leo's eyes either.  CJ finally turned away, shaking her head in amusement at the effect Donna had over a couple of hard-boiled, tough old characters. </div> <bR> <div>   Donna showed up a few minutes after CJ arrived in her office. She had just popped the tops off two Corona's when she heard Donna behind her. </div> <div>   " Looks like I'm just in time." </div> <bR> <div>   CJ whipped around, and with a wry half- smile held one of the bottles out to Donna. </div> <bR> <div>   " To a hard fought battle and a good win," she remarked as Donna took the bottle. </div> <bR> <div>   " Yeah... it was good. The President did really well and Toby wrote a great speech," Donna replied with a forced smile. </div> <bR> <div>   CJ looked at Donna for a long moment and finally said, " Donna- it's me. You can say what's actually on your mind now.You don't have to be polite with me. " </div> <bR> <div>   " I was.... I meant what I said.I wasn't just being polite." </div> <bR> <div>   " Yeah... well, the President and Toby weren't the only ones to do well tonight. You can take credit for a pretty big win too." </div> <bR> <div>   " I didn't... I did my job, CJ. No more, no less. I just wish..." Donna trailed off, the neutral facade slipping away to reveal the sadness she felt over a young man she had never met, but who had become more than some name on a list to her. </div> <bR> <div>   " You wish you had been able to save Donovan Morrisey," CJ finished her thought. </div> <bR> <div>   " Yeah,"she nodded, her admission coming out as a sigh. </div> <bR> <div>   " I know. The thing I think you're failing to realize is that you saved thirty-five Donovans, and that's your win. What that young man endured - his loss of faith, or patience, or whatever it was that pushed him to make that finale irrevocable decision- all that is tragic, but it didn't happen because you didn't try hard enough. You have to look at all you accomplished, not what was lost." </div> <bR> <div>   " I know." </div> <bR> <div>  " Do you really? I talked to Josh a little while ago, and he told me that you were the one that made him see that we were looking at this pardon thing all wrong. That it wasn't about creating an image for doing the right thing- it was actually about doing the right thing. You did that." </div> <div>   Donna sat on CJ's sofa and thought about what she said. It helped to think that she had made that kind of impact, and while she really wanted to focus on that, she couldn't help but wish that Donovan Morrisey had been able to benefit from her efforts. Now he never would. </div> <bR> <div>  " I know that what happened is overshadowing the big picture right now, but if the President had pardoned that kid at this particular moment in time, it would have given the detractors reason to say the only reason the other thirty-five were included was insulation. It would have reduced them to exactly what they've been referred to- 'packing peanuts', not people," CJ stated. </div> <bR> <div>   " That doesn't exactly make it fair." Donna replied. </div> <bR> <div>  " I know- but life's like that sometime. The same advantages that would have gotten his mother a meeting with the President turned out working against him. The President wanted to pardon him- he just had to take care of the larger group first. A group that extends far past those thirty-five you helped tonight." </div> <bR> <div>   Donna nodded her understanding, and taking a sip from the bottle she had been absently holding, repeated what she had said to Josh earlier. </div> <bR> <div>   " I told Josh that I need to start learning how to keep things at arm's length... to look at things more objectively- less personally. He didn't seem to agree with me. " </div> <bR> <div>   " Well- as much as it pains me to say that Josh is right about anything- in this case, he is. This building is filled with people who have learned to be disspassionate and objective- to look at a problem from a purely political standpoint. That's easy. It takes courage and compassion to put yourself in someone elses shoes- to actually let yourself feel the pain they're sharing with you. It's easy to make the expedient decision- it's a hell of a lot harder to do what's right. Don't start insulating yourself, or operating contrary to your nature. We need that here. In fact, we need more of it, not less." </div> <bR> <div>   " It's hard though..." </div> <bR> <div>  " It's harder not being true to yourself. Follow your heart- it rarely steers you wrong." </div> <bR> <div>   " Are we still talking about work?" Donna asked with an arched brow. </div> <bR> <div>   " Not necessarily," CJ replied with a grin. </div> <bR> <div>  Donna smiled in return- and this time it wasn't practiced or artifical. She knew CJ was telling her something without actually saying the words, but she couldn't think about that right now. She just didn't have the energy tonight. Maybe tomorrow.</div> <div>   " Okay. So... who's Ben?" Donna asked with a teasing grin. </div> <bR> <div>   " Did I ever tell you that I'm much better at giving advice than I am at taking it?" CJ replied evasively</div> <bR> <div>   Donna chuckled a little and answered, " Aren't we all..." </div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div>     The End</div> <bR> <bR> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>