The Fortuitous Visitor

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0 height="100%"><tr> <td valign="top" width=200 BGCOLOR="#003399" TEXT="#080000" background="03fc8c00erkjxk.jpg"> <div> <B>Josh takes  a late night stroll and has an interesting encounter.</B></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <B>*2003 Golden Coffee Cup Award Nominee</B><FONT SIZE="2" COLOR="#003399" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> </td> <td valign="top" BGCOLOR="#0066CC" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <FONT SIZE="5" COLOR="#99CCFF" FACE="Arial" ><B>Smiles, Tears, & Happy Endings</B></FONT><FONT SIZE="1" COLOR="#FFFF99" FACE="Arial" > </FONT><FONT SIZE="1" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT><FONT SIZE="1" COLOR="#CC0000" FACE="Arial" > </FONT>  |     <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Smiles, Tears, Happy Endings"><U>home</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id18.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Brandys Stories"><U>Brandy's Stories</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id24.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Other Side"><U>The Other Side</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id25.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Getaway"><U>Getaway</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id32.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Deserved Recognition"><U>Deserved Recognition</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id33.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The End of These Days"><U>The End of These Days</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id34.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Moving On"><U>Moving On</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id35.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Lessons Learned Shared"><U>Lessons- Learned & Shared</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id43.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="So, I Had This Dream..."><U>So, I Had This Dream...</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id214.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Perfect Plan"><U>The Perfect Plan</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id215.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Incredibly Campy Road Trip From Hell"><U>The Incredibly Campy Road Trip From Hell</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id216.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="A Whole New Story"><U>A Whole New Story</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id217.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="What Are Friends For? 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I wanted to get a glimpse into the background and experiences of Josh’s ‘visitor’. I realized at one point during my research that I could spend days, months, possibly even years reading and listening to survivor’s accounts, and only scratch the surface of understanding. To achieve some measure of understanding, I highly recommend the following sites: </B></I></div> <bR> <div>    <B>United States Holocaust Memorial Museum</B>-</div> <div>   <A HREF="http://www.ushmm.org" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.ushmm.org"><U> http://www.ushmm.org</U></A></div> <bR> <div>  <B> Yad Vashem: The Holocaust Martyrs and Heroes Remembrance Authority</B></div> <div>    <A HREF="http://www.yadvashem.org/index.html" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.yadvashem.org/index.html"><U> http://www.yadvashem.org/index.html</U></A></div> <div>     This site contains a segment referred to as " The Auschwitz Album". It contains "the only surviving evidence of the process of mass murder at Auschwitz-Birkenau".</div> <bR> <div> The following quote by Woodrow Wilson has no relation in context to this story or the Holocaust. Wilson made it during his proposal to Edith Gault in reference to the White House- but I thought it was particularly appropriate to The Holocaust Memorial Museum as well.</div> <bR> <div> <I>"…in this place time is not measured by weeks, or months, or years, but by deep human experiences..." </I></div> <div>   Woodrow Wilson</div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div> It was late. Josh knew he should really be at home, seeking out the elusive pleasure of a full nights sleep. He wasn’t. Instead he was walking along the tidal basin, very near the Holocaust Memorial Museum. Although he had started walking with no particular direction in mind, he knew where he would end up. He always seemed to end up there when he needed to think. He really did need to sort some things out in his life- both professionally and personally. The problem was- he was tired. He was tired of banging his head in frustration over his inability to make anything in his life come out correctly. He was tired of taking one step forward, only to take three steps back. He was tired of going through the motions and pretending that he was really living life the way it was supposed to be lived. Mostly he was just plain tired. </div> <bR> <div>   Given just how weary he truly was- the last thing he should be doing was walking. Especially taking the oddly circuitous route he was taking on his way to the Lincoln Memorial. One that would take him past the Holocaust Memorial. He really couldn’t understand what had made him go that way. It was almost as if he was being drawn in that direction for some unknown reason.</div> <bR> <div>   He hadn’t been anywhere near the Holocaust Memorial since April, during the Days of Remembrance, and that had been a very brief visit. Even now he felt the guilt of knowing that his visit then had been more one of duty and obligation than real reflection. He supposed that he could add that regret, that misgiving, to the mounting pile that weighed so heavily on him now.  </div> <div>  </div> <div>   As he neared the Memorial, he began to mentally review his constantly growing list of regrets and mistakes…</div> <div>  He regretted, more than life itself, that he hadn’t been with his father when he died. Even though he knew the pride his father had in what he was doing at the time. His father believed strongly that Jed Bartlet was the ’real thing’, and he was happy beyond measure that his son had found someone true and fine to believe in. He told Josh once that he wished he were a bit younger so that he could join them. He said he would have loved to experience the glory and insanity of getting the right man in the right place at the right time. </div> <bR> <div>   He regretted that he hadn’t learned the hard lessons that almost dying should have taught him. To savor life and take chances. To not settle for the easy way because he was so entrenched in fear over losing the ones he loved the most that he stubbornly refused to reach for the stars. So he set his expectations for personal relationships at a comfortably low level, knowing that the disappointment, when it came, would not be quite so devastating. The main problem with that idea was that, in sparing yourself great pain, you never really achieved true joy. That was the essence of the relationship he was immersed in now. Amy didn’t know him- not really. He didn’t allow her to. The walked around each other, like two slightly wary adversaries, only achieving any sort of closeness when they physically ‘tangled’. That’s what it was too. Tangling- not making love, not even having sex. It wasn’t as simple as that. Physical encounters with Amy were not about joining between two people, no more than their conversations were a respectful and productive exchange of ideas. It was about the struggle for power, and proving who was the best. It was physically stimulating to be sure, but emotionally….it was, quite honestly, devoid of any real emotion. It certainly didn’t have the feeling of sharing and loving that it should have. </div> <bR> <div>   He regretted that his mistakes with Amy had caused him to make untold errors in professional judgment. Errors that not only affected him, but countless numbers of people. He had never thought that trying to have a life, and someone to share it with, would make such a mess of everything else. Of course, it was a possibility that it wasn’t the idea of having a life outside the White House that was the problem- just who he chose to share it with.</div> <bR> <div>   So… with all that said, why couldn’t he just break it off- call it quits? If he knew the answer to that, he wouldn’t be out walking in the dark D.C.  night in mid-June, when he could, and should, be home in bed. Because at this point, no amount of sleep could assuage the weariness he felt.</div> <bR> <div>   Returning to, or rather expanding on, his earlier regret. He wished that he had the courage to go after the one person- follow the one path that he knew, deep in his heart, would bring him true happiness- or at least the closest thing to true happiness anyone can have on earth. He had known it deep down for a very long time. He knew there was something, or could be something, extraordinary between them. If only… If only things were less complicated. If only he was brave enough to take the chance. If only he could make himself believe that she wanted him with even a tenth of the intensity he wanted her. </div> <bR> <div>   Josh was so immersed in wishful speculation he nearly plowed down the old gentleman that he crossed paths with. </div> <div>   " Oh, damn…I mean, pardon me, sir. I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going." </div> <bR> <div>   " That’s alright, son. We all do that from time to time," the elderly gentleman said with an indulgent smile.  </div> <div>   When Josh heard the man speak, instead of passing by, he stopped. There was something oddly familiar about the man’s voice. That slight hint of an accent, the manner of his speech that struck a familiar chord in Josh. He stood there for a moment, his head tilted and a slightly puzzled expression on his face as he tried to discern why this man should look and sound familiar to him. The old man returned his gaze, that indulgent smile still tilting the corners of his mouth.  If Josh were to guess, he would say that the old gentleman was either in his late seventies or early eighties, and he couldn’t help but wonder what had a man of his advanced years out walking this late at night. </div> <bR> <div>   " Are you alright, young man?" </div> <div>   " Yes… ah- I’m sorry. Yes, it’s just…nothing," Josh said, shaking his head a bit. The old man noticed that he still had that confused, searching expression in his eyes. </div> <bR> <div>   " It seems a little more than nothing. You seem troubled by something." </div> <bR> <div>   " It’s nothing- really. Are you okay? I mean… it’s rather late. Do you need me to call someone for you- a cab or something?" Josh offered, not feeling comfortable about just going on his way and leaving the elderly gentleman to his own devices. It was, after all, very late, and D.C was a sometimes dangerous place to be at night.</div> <div>  </div> <div>   For a moment, Josh wondered if the man would take offense, but he merely smiled and shook his head.</div> <div>  " No. That’s not necessary. I take this path often. It’s a familiar one to me. I was going to walk along the Mall, perhaps rest my old bones at Lincoln’s feet." </div> <bR> <div>   Again, Josh was struck by that feeling of familiarity. Not only in the tone and manner of speech, but in something he said. Then it hit him, and he smiled to himself. His grandfather, Nathan. That’s who the man reminded him of. Making a decision, Josh turned once again to the elderly man.</div> <bR> <div>   " I was headed that way, myself. Would you mind some company?"</div> <div>   </div> <div>   " That sounds like a fine idea," the old gentleman said, extending his hand to Josh. " Isaac Lehman."</div> <div>  </div> <div>  Josh’s eyes widened a little in surprise and then with a rueful shake of his head, he offered his own hand. </div> <div>   " Josh Lyman."</div> <div>  </div> <div>   Mr. Lehman nodded, and replied, " Yes, I know." </div> <bR> <div>   " You do? How…how do you know me?"</div> <div>  </div> <div>   " I’ve seen your picture around," the old gentleman replied with a shrug.</div> <div>  </div> <div>  " Oh." </div> <bR> <div>  " Yes. Do you come here often?" Mr. Lehman asked as they passed by the Wall of Remembrance on the 15th Street side of the Museum.</div> <div>  </div> <div>   " Not as often as I should," Josh replied, and the weariness, tinged with guilt, was unmistakable in his voice. Isaac Lehman shook his head at Josh’s words and tone. </div> <bR> <div>   " This place is here for you. For your comfort- your understanding, not the other way around."</div> <bR> <div>   "  No…I mean- I know that. But, I promised my grandfather that… I promised him I would remember the things he told me."</div> <div>  </div> <div>   "  Your grandfather- he was there?" </div> <bR> <div>   Josh stopped walking at his question, and some part of his mind noticed that his companion said ‘there’ with the same intonation that his friends said ‘that night’ when referring to Rosslyn. </div> <div>   " Yes… Birkenau." </div> <bR> <div>   " And do you remember everything he told you?" </div> <bR> <div>   " Yes."</div> <bR> <div>   " And will you pass this knowledge on to your children, and have them pass it on to theirs?"</div> <div>  </div> <div>   " I don’t have children-"</div> <bR> <div>   " You will," Josh’s companion stated with conviction.</div> <bR> <div>   " Hopefully… but yes, I‘ll make sure they know and that they remember everything- everything he endured. Everything he survived to tell me." </div> <bR> <div>   " Then your duty is fulfilled."</div> <div>  </div> <div>    Josh shrugged, and as they continued on their way, he heard Mr. Lehman sigh. Josh looked at him, an inquisitive tilt to his brow. </div> <bR> <div>   " I see you don’t really believe what I say. Maybe in time you will, but not now. There is one duty you have to fulfill. One thing I’m sure your grandfather would want from you."</div> <bR> <div>   " What’s that?"</div> <div>  </div> <div>   " Every man wants his children to live a better life than he had - to be happy, and successful. He wants that for his children, and for his children’s children. So, Joshua Lyman- are you happy?"</div> <bR> <div>   " I…No. No sir, I’m not."</div> <bR> <div>   " Why?"</div> <div>  </div> <div>   " I’m not sure."</div> <div>  </div> <div>   " I think you are. I think you know what you need to do to, but you lack the courage to take the first step."</div> <div>  </div> <div>   Josh stopped and just stood there for a moment, thinking that this man- this stranger- was giving voice to thoughts that had been going around in his head for some time. How could this man have that much insight into him after a few moments conversation? </div> <bR> <div>   Mr. Lehman glanced back at Josh, and peering pointedly over his glasses- in a manner that was eerily reminiscent of Nathan Lyman, he said, " Joshua, you’re falling behind. Come along."</div> <bR> <div>   Feeling as though he were eight years old and walking in the park with his grandfather again, Josh hurried to catch up with his strange new companion. </div> <bR> <div> ************************************************************************************* </div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div>   They had been walking for several minutes in an oddly comfortable silence. Odd, from Josh’s point of view, because this man was a stranger to him- yet in many ways he wasn’t. It was, in a strange way, like the immediate rhythm that he and Donna had fallen into from their first day together. Josh smiled at the memory of how she had just walked into his life, pulled up a chair, and began to bring order to the mess he made. It had never felt as though she was intruding or bossing him around. She just filled in the empty corners of his life.</div> <div>  </div> <div>   Isaac noticed the smile on Josh’s face and said, " That’s a much better face than the one you were wearing before. You’re thinking of something good?" </div> <bR> <div>   " Yeah... Someone, actually."</div> <bR> <div>   " Your lady friend?" Isaac asked with a grin. </div> <bR> <div>   " Well, yes and no. She’s a lady, and she’s my friend- maybe even my best friend- but not the way you mean."</div> <bR> <div>   Isaac looked at the resigned expression Josh wore,  heard his wistful sigh, and came to his own conclusion. He didn’t comment on his observations though, simply saying, "Tell me about her." </div> <bR> <div>   " I’m not sure I know where to start,"  Josh replied.</div> <bR> <div>   " As with most things - at the beginning," Isaac replied reasonably, then asked, " How did you meet her?" </div> <div>   </div> <div>  " It was in New Hampshire. I walked into my office one day, and she was there, answering my phone and going through my calendar like she had been doing it all along. I asked her who she was and… we proceeded to have the most bizarre, interesting conversation I’ve ever had with anyone."</div> <bR> <div>   " So, she works for you?" </div> <bR> <div>   " In theory, yes- actually she works more with me than for me. She’s amazingly smart, and she’s got this mind…she absorbs everything. She’ll pull some obscure fact out of nowhere to make a point, and have the research to back up what she says… and she has this incredible zest for living."</div> <bR> <div>   Isaac noticed the way Josh looked when he talked about this woman. ‘Just friends’, he’d said. Foolish boy. Did he really think he was pulling the wool over anyone’s eyes with that one?</div> <bR> <div>   " And you’ve never…there’s nothing but work between you and this woman- I’m sorry, what did you say her name was?" </div> <bR> <div>   " Donnatella… and no, there’s nothing like that… she’s my assistant. We’re friends. It wouldn’t be appropriate."</div> <bR> <div>   Isaac made a noise that sounded like a snort of disbelief, and Josh looked at him for a moment, waiting to see if he’d make some comment. When he didn’t, Josh continued.</div> <div>  </div> <div>   " I know it sounds odd, but Donna and I- well, we have an unusual relationship." </div> <bR> <div>   " How so?" </div> <bR> <div>   Josh didn’t say anything at first. He wasn’t quite sure what to say or how they had managed to wander into this particular conversational minefield. Taking a deep breath, he decided to try to explain it as best as he could to this stranger who reminded him so strongly of his grandfather. Possibly it would help him understand it better himself. </div> <div>   </div> <div>   " Well… we’ve always been a bit unconventional… from the very beginning. For instance, she refuses to bring me coffee, but she’ll tie my ties for me whenever we have a formal function."</div> <bR> <div>   Josh noticed Isaac nod and chuckle at that comment. </div> <div>    " My wife used to have to do that for me. She always complained about a grown man not being able to tie his own bowtie, but I knew it was all a ruse. She liked doing it." </div> <bR> <div>   " Yeah…Donna does the same thing." </div> <bR> <div>   " What else?" Isaac asked.</div> <bR> <div>   " She’s always there for me…whenever I need her- even when I don’t know I need her. Sometimes I think she’s channeling my mother. Actually she talks to my mother more than I do…" Josh said, and the smile left his face for a moment as he thought of his mother and the odd, sometimes strained, relationship they had. They always seemed to get along best from a distance. When they were together, they seemed to be like two overly polite strangers. They were far too careful about not stepping on each other’s toes. It would be fairly safe to say they had unresolved issues between them. Most of those issues revolved around Joanie, guilt and things too long unsaid.</div> <bR> <div>   " You said she’s there for you even when you don’t realize you need her? What does that mean?"</div> <div>  </div> <div>   " Well.. There was this thing that happened about two years ago. We were in Rosslyn and-"</div> <bR> <div>   " You mean when you and the President were shot? Yes, I remember that. Hate and ignorance are awful things. Was your Donna there?"  </div> <bR> <div>   Josh turned to Isaac as they walked past the Washington Monument and wondered again if his chance meeting with this oddly familiar stranger was really chance at all.</div> <bR> <div>    " No…she wasn’t there. That’s the only thing about that night I’m truly grateful for. Well, that and that Toby found me when he did," Josh replied with a rueful smile.</div> <bR> <div>   " Yes. That was fortunate. What about your Donna?" </div> <bR> <div>   " She came to the hospital as soon as she heard about the shooting. She didn’t know about me until she got there. Toby told her." </div> <bR> <div>   Josh fell silent for a moment, lost in his fractured memories of that night. Memories that consisted of mental pictures, like still frames in a video reel and pieces of things that people told him later to fill in the blanks. Even now it was jerky and fragmented- just like the memories of a long ago night when he was a child. Only then it was fire instead of gunshots…</div> <bR> <div>   " Joshua?"  Isaac said, breaking into Josh’s thoughts. </div> <div>   " Yeah…sorry. You asked about Donna. Yeah… like I said, Toby told her I was shot. I was in surgery then. Fourteen hours -they told me later. Donna was there the whole time. She never left once. Dr. Bartlet arranged for her to watch while they were operating on me. I still don’t understand it. Why would she put herself through watching that? It had to be awful to watch- but she did. I can’t even imagine how I would have handled it if the positions were reversed." </div> <bR> <div>   " You would have done the same," Isaac stated with absolute conviction.</div> <bR> <div>   Josh looked at him sharply for a second, ready to ask him how he could know such a thing, then the challenge died on his lips. He would have. Had their positions been reversed, Josh would have never taken his eyes off Donna. He knew it, and somehow Isaac knew it as well.</div> <div>   " Yeah… well, it wasn’t just that night. I was recovering for quite a few weeks after that and she was always there. I mean not always- but almost… and when she wasn’t taking care of me, she was taking care of my office. She nagged me to eat right and take my medicine and do my physical therapy, and she kidded me out of my boredom. She even made rules." </div> <div>   " Rules?" Isaac asked, looking very amused. </div> <div>   " Yeah, she made rules about who could come by and for how long. She made rules about how much time I could spend on the phone talking about work. She was a fanatic about the rules. Toby tried everything he could to get around her, and she wouldn’t budge. I mean, Toby Ziegler begging and cajoling… that’s just something you don’t see him do." </div> <div>   " She sounds like a very determined young woman. I admire determination and spirit." </div> <div>  Josh nodded in silent agreement. The funny thing was, Mandy and Amy were spirited, determined women too- but with Donna it was different. Donna was no less committed to her beliefs, but she also had compassion and respect for varying viewpoints. The same couldn’t always be said for Mandy or Amy. Especially Amy. </div> <bR> <div>   " Joshua?"</div> <bR> <div>   " Yes, sir?"</div> <bR> <div>  " Forgive me, but I’m a bit confused. You say this woman- your Donna- you say she is just your friend… your co-worker, but you talk about her as if she was the closest thing to your heart. If she isn’t the woman in your life- and you say she isn’t- why not?" </div> <bR> <div>   " It’s complicated." </div> <bR> <div>   " I doubt it’s as complicated as you think. Why don’t you spread out the problem so you can have a clearer look at it."</div> <div>   </div> <div>   " I’m not sure I understand what you mean," Josh said, although Isaac had a feeling he did, but that he was just afraid to try.</div> <bR> <div>   " Well, it’s like a jigsaw puzzle. When all the pieces are in the box, the picture is unclear. So, you take the pieces and spread them out and you begin to get an idea of what the pieces make up. Piece by piece the picture becomes clearer. You put all the pieces together and you see it clearly. Are you willing to try?" </div> <bR> <div>  Josh shrugged his shoulders, and thought, ‘Why not’. After all, at this point, what did he have to lose? </div> <bR> <div> ************************************************************************************* </div> <div>  </div> <div>   </div> <div>  Neither of them said anything for a few moments, both of them looking ahead to the Lincoln Memorial illuminated in the distance. Josh was struck once again by how reassuring the sight of it was. Glancing at Isaac, Josh noticed that he looked as though the Memorial had the same effect on him. Josh thought again of his grandfather and the first time he had brought Josh to D.C. They had walked along the Mall together, and Nathan Lyman had acted as tour guide for his grandson. When they had reached the Lincoln Memorial, Nathan turned to him and said, " Joshua, if you ever doubt that one man can achieve great good, you come here. You look at the face of a simple, self-educated man, and you’ll remember that all great things start with the actions of one good person." </div> <div>   </div> <div>   Josh had never forgotten those words, and whenever he felt down or beaten, he had taken his grandfather’s advice, and been comforted by it. He just wished he could achieve such reassurance about other areas of his life. His personal relationships seemed to be a long line of missed chances, complications, and regret. Why was it that other people seemed to find fulfillment in their personal lives so easily, and the only area he could manage to achieve it was professionally- and not even that so much lately. The words the President said to him in the Oval Office before the Welfare Reform vote were still ringing in his ears. He  felt every bit of President Bartlet’s anger, frustration, and disappointment, even though in the end it had all worked out. He should have never let it happen in the first place.</div> <bR> <div>   " There’s that face again. Are you thinking about what brought you here tonight?" Isaac asked, divining his thoughts once again with uncanny accuracy.</div> <bR> <div>   " Yes, sir. How did you know?"</div> <bR> <div>   " You have a very expressive face, Joshua," Isaac replied with a slight smile. </div> <bR> <div>   " So I’ve heard…" </div> <bR> <div>   " It’s not a bad thing, Joshua. A person can see the veracity and conviction of your words just by looking at you.  Tell me- does your Donna know how you feel about her?" </div> <div>   </div> <div>  " I told you, we’re just-"</div> <bR> <div>  " Friends… yes, I know. Now answer my question." </div> <bR> <div>   Josh thought for a minute, remembering their ‘non-anniversary’ last year. He remembered a conversation involving a car accident, beer and red lights. He remembered the look in her eyes when she thanked him for taking her back. Then he remembered the way she had looked when she told him first about Cliff Calley, then later about her diary, and how he had come to know about it. He remembered the guilt in her eyes. Finally, he remembered the acknowledgement of his feelings of betrayal. Not about who Calley was, but that he was at all. At that moment, whether it was rational or not, he felt that Donna had broken something between them- something that had nothing to do with professional relationships or political ramifications.</div> <div>   " I don’t know. Sometimes I think…then other times I’m not sure. We have… I told you- it’s complicated. Besides, it doesn’t matter. I’m involved with someone else." </div> <bR> <div>   " Really? That’s odd." </div> <bR> <div>   " What do you mean - ‘odd’ ? Why is it odd that I’m involved with a woman? Donna has relationships… well maybe not relationships, but she dates other men. I’ve been involved with Amy for months now…"</div> <bR> <div>  He trailed off as he noticed the rather pointed look Isaac was giving him. It was very much like the kind of look Leo gave  him when Josh’s mouth had somehow disengaged itself from his brain. </div> <bR> <div>   " Odd that you didn’t mention her before. When I asked if you were thinking about your lady friend, you didn’t mention this Amy at all." </div> <div>   Again, Josh noticed Isaac’s expression. This time it was one of exaggerated patience, as he stood there waiting for Josh to connect the dots. When Josh got this sheepish, slightly guilty, look on his face, Isaac knew Josh had followed his reasoning to its logical conclusion. </div> <bR> <div>   " We were talking about Donna. Amy… she just never came up," Josh offered, in what he knew was a lame excuse. </div> <div>   " Joshua?"</div> <bR> <div>   " Yes, sir?"</div> <bR> <div>   " I’m going to give you a valuable piece of advice- something that you should already know, given your line of work…"</div> <bR> <div>    " Which is…?" </div> <bR> <div>   " Never bullshit a smart old man with that face," Isaac replied with a grin. </div> <bR> <div>   Josh chuckled at that, shaking his head in resignation as he did.</div> <div>   </div> <div>   " Yes, sir- I’ll remember that." </div> <bR> <div>   " Good. Now, let’s talk about those ‘complications’ you were going to tell me about. We have a puzzle to sort out- don’t we?" </div> <bR> <div>   " Yes, sir- we do." </div> <bR> <div>   They walked a little farther along the Mall until they found a bench. Sitting down, they both looked out at the evening lights dancing across the Reflecting Pool. Neither of them said anything for a few moments, then Isaac asked Josh a very important question. </div> <bR> <div>   " If you removed all these so-called complications, and could have what you wanted, what would that be?" </div> <bR> <div>   " What’s the point in asking that? The complications exist- it’s pointless to pretend they don’t," Josh replied, sounding somewhat like a petulant child.</div> <div>  </div> <div>   " You agreed to this, Joshua. Now are you going to try or not?" </div> <bR> <div>   " Alright. Yes- if the dozens of complications that do exist were no longer a factor, then I would choose Donna. I would want to go to her and tell her just how important she is to me- just how much she means to me. There! Does it make you happy to have me admit it?" Josh exclaimed, sounding to Isaac more defensive and scared than angry. </div> <div>   </div> <div>   " My happiness is not at issue here. Yours is. Was it really so hard to admit out loud the truth that your heart already knew?"</div> <bR> <div>   " You have no idea," Josh admitted with a rueful sigh.</div> <div>   </div> <div>   " Why?"</div> <bR> <div>   " I told you. It’s not just a matter of what I want."</div> <bR> <div>   " And there are complications," Isaac said, repeating Josh’s earlier words with a hint of a smile. </div> <bR> <div>   " Yes." </div> <bR> <div>   " Joshua, it’s been my experience that our fears often take on magnified proportions in our head. We hold them inside until they fester and grow, and before long we are paralyzed by them. Fear of the unknown is often the worst kind. So, we stay on our safe little road, with our head down and our eyes averted- never daring to take a chance, because the outcome is unclear. That, son, is no way to live." </div> <bR> <div>  " I know that," Josh said in a small voice. </div> <bR> <div>  " Good. Then you know what you need to do to get past this."</div> <bR> <div>  " Just because I’ve admitted that I love her- want her- damn… need her- doesn’t mean she feels the same about me." </div> <div>  Isaac didn’t say anything at first in response to Josh’s rather revealing comment, just taking in the vulnerability in his expression.  At least now they had reached the root of the problem.</div> <bR> <div>   " What makes you think she wouldn’t want you?" </div> <bR> <div>   " I’m a lot older than she is."</div> <div>   </div> <div>   " You make her sound like a child. How much younger is she than you?"  </div> <bR> <div>   " Over ten years," Josh replied miserably. Isaac merely shrugged.</div> <bR> <div>   " You’re both adults - what does it matter? Besides, women start out maturing faster than men, and we never really catch up. Not to mention, from what you’ve told me about your Donna, a man her own age would never understand her." </div> <div>   </div> <div>   " I can believe that. I have a hard enough time understanding her myself," Josh admitted, only half joking. </div> <bR> <div>   " Keeps you on your toes, does she?" Isaac asked with a mischievous grin. </div> <bR> <div>   " Every day. It used to make me crazy- but now I don’t know what I’d do without her."</div> <bR> <div>   " She sounds like a woman it would take a lifetime to know, and every second would be worth it," Isaac said with a nostalgic smile. </div> <bR> <div>   " Yeah… that’s another part of it though. I’m not… well after Rosslyn and all the surgery. I’m a little worse for wear. That sort of thing takes years off a man…" Josh trailed off, never comfortable thinking about his own mortality. He’d had quite enough time to do that while he was lying in his hospital bed after he was shot.   </div> <bR> <div>   " Joshua, we never know how long God will give us. Your grandfather knew that. I know it, and it’s time you remembered it. It’s not the length of your life that‘s important, but how well you live what God gives you. That means never settling for the safe road when you can follow the path of true happiness. Not all of us get the choice." </div> <bR> <div>    Josh  listened carefully as Isaac spoke, but he couldn’t help but wonder about the elderly man as he did. For all the things that his companion knew about him, Josh knew very little about this man. It’s not that he doubted anything Isaac was telling him. He knew somehow that everything Isaac had said was right and true. It just felt odd to have a virtual stranger see you so clearly. Josh watched as Isaac rose from his seat on the bench and said, " Come along- let’s finish our walk. My old bones get stiff sitting for too long on these hard benches." </div> <bR> <div>   Josh stood, joining Isaac as he continued on his way to their destination. </div> <bR> <div>    " Do you think there’s a chance she feels the same way about me?" Josh asked as they walked.</div> <bR> <div>   " That’s not a question I can answer. Maybe you should ask the person who can tell you." </div> <bR> <div>   " That’s easy to say. Do you mind telling me how?" </div> <bR> <div>   " We’ll see if Abe can give us any ideas," Isaac replied with a wink and a smile. " Can’t hurt to ask, anyway." </div> <bR> <div>   Josh smiled and shrugged as if to say, ‘Why not? Couldn’t hurt to try…’</div> <bR> <div> *************************************************************************************</div> <bR> <div>   </div> <bR> <div>   Josh and Isaac had reached the top of the steps, in front of the Lincoln Memorial, and stood, each immersed in their own thoughts as they looked at the statue of Lincoln, seated and obviously deep in thought. </div> <div>   </div> <div>   " How do you think he dealt with everything he had to endure? Trying to hold a fractured country together with his bare hands, the devastation of war, the death of his child. How does a man endure all that?" Josh asked, never taking his eyes off the statue in front of him.</div> <bR> <div>   " As each of us do- according to our abilities. My father once told me that God never gives us more than we are able to stand.  I’ve had reason in my life to doubt that a time or two- but I’ve discovered that ultimately it’s true. We may have to reach higher or work harder, but eventually we’re rewarded for our patience and faith."</div> <bR> <div>   " Why do I get the feeling we’re not talking about old Abe and his problems anymore?" Josh asked, glancing at Isaac with a bit of a smile.</div> <bR> <div>   " Because, even though you don’t always act like it, you’re a smart boy." </div> <bR> <div>   " Thanks a lot." </div> <bR> <div>   " You’re welcome, son." </div> <bR> <div>  After a few moments more of gazing at Lincoln’s wise, old countenance, Josh and Isaac walked over to the steps and took a seat. Finally Isaac turned to Josh.</div> <bR> <div>   "Would you mind telling me why you are afraid of approaching Donna with your feelings?"</div> <div>  </div> <div>  Josh didn’t say anything for a moment, and then he looked at Isaac with a self-deprecating half smile and said, " I don’t know. I guess it’s because… I’m kind of a mess, really."</div> <div>   </div> <div>   " A mess? What on earth does that mean?" </div> <bR> <div>   " Well, I’m hopeless when it comes to relationships. You can ask any of my former girlfriends- they’ll be glad to tell you what a magnificent klutz I am in that area."</div> <div>   </div> <div>   " If the person is wrong for you, the person is wrong for you, and it won’t work out. That’s a simple fact of life, Joshua." </div> <bR> <div>  " So, you’re saying that if I take a chance on this thing with Donna that things will be easy?" </div> <bR> <div>   " Not easy- different." </div> <bR> <div>   " Why?" </div> <bR> <div>   " The foundation is built already. You said it yourself- she’s your friend- possibly your best friend. You don’t think she already knows all those flaws you’re so afraid of her discovering."</div> <bR> <div>  " Well.. She knows I’m clueless when it comes to relationships. She said I ‘tumble into girls sideways then wait for them to break up with me’. She’s seen me at my worst- both physically and emotionally. She really is the most wonderful friend…"</div> <bR> <div>   " She sounds like a woman worthy of risking your heart over," Isaac remarked with a pointed look at Josh. </div> <bR> <div>   " She’s worth that and a lot more. I just don’t know… I don’t want to mess up what we have now by telling her how I feel. If she doesn’t feel the same it’s going to change everything. We’ll end up being uncomfortable around each other, and she’ll feel guilty because she can’t give me what I want." </div> <bR> <div>   " Now you’re just creating problems," Isaac remarked, shaking his head. " Let me ask you this- have you ever done anything solely on faith? Taken a life-changing chance when the outcome was unclear?"</div> <bR> <div>   Josh looked at Isaac as he thought, but the answer was clear. He’d taken exactly such a chance when he had made that instantaneous gut decision that night in Nashua after he’d heard then-Governor Bartlet speak. In one moment he had made a decision that had changed the course of his life. A course that had eventually brought Donna into his life. </div> <bR> <div>   " Yes… Yes, I have. It was the best decision I ever made." </div> <bR> <div>   " Then you have only to summon that courage once again. It’s there, Joshua. Call on it. You won’t be sorry." </div> <bR> <div>   " What makes you so sure?" Josh asked, looking intently into Isaac’s eyes, searching for the reasoning behind his companion’s deep conviction. </div> <bR> <div>   " I’m an old man, Joshua. I’ve seen most of life’s joys and most of its pain. The one thing in life worth risking everything for is love. Love is the balm that eases the pain of loss and despair. Love gives you the strength to keep going when you haven’t an ounce of strength left in your body. Love reminds you that faith and hope aren’t just ideas. Finding the one person we are meant to share all that with is why God put us here."</div> <div>   </div> <div>   Josh didn’t say anything for the longest time, he just thought about what Isaac had said. He did, however, begin to feel a small ray of hope. If what Isaac said was true- and he had no reason not to believe him, regardless of how little he knew the man- he had been a fool. He had been a fool to waste the time he already had with Donna. He would be a bigger fool to waste anymore. </div> <bR> <div>   " All things happen in their proper time, Joshua. Remember that," Isaac said, breaking into Josh’s thoughts with that uncanny ability he had to read him.</div> <bR> <div>   " So you don’t think I’ve missed my chance?" Josh asked, not bothering to wonder how Isaac would know.</div> <div>   " No, but I wouldn’t tempt fate much longer if I were you. Be honest with yourself- be honest with her. Once you stop fighting the natural course of fate, life becomes much easier."</div> <bR> <div>   " I’ll remember that." </div> <bR> <div>   " Is that a promise, Joshua?" </div> <bR> <div>   " Yes, sir. I promise." </div> <bR> <div>   " Good. I’ve already seen that you’re a man that keeps his promises," Isaac said with a kind smile. He rose from his seat beside Josh and, taking one glance back at the statue of Lincoln, he sighed. " Now, I’m afraid our time has come to an end. I need to seek out my bed and have sweet dreams of good times past."</div> <bR> <div>   Josh stood, holding out his hand to the man in front of him, wishing they could have more time together. Isaac took his hand in a warm steady grasp, patting their joined hands with his other. </div> <bR> <div>   " Don’t worry, Joshua. We’ll meet again sometime. I’m anxious to hear how things work out with your Donna." </div> <bR> <div>   Josh smiled, thinking how strange, yet oddly comforting, his time with Isaac had been. </div> <bR> <div>  " Do you always know what I’m thinking?"</div> <bR> <div>  Isaac chuckled and shook his head as he walked down the steps, " Not always…but a fair amount of the time."</div> <bR> <div>   " I thought so. Are you going to be okay getting home? I know you said before…"</div> <bR> <div>   " I’m fine. I’m meeting an old friend just up ahead. He’s probably waiting for me now."</div> <bR> <div>  " Well…   I guess I should let you get on your way. Thanks for talking to me- helping me sort all this stuff out."</div> <bR> <div>   " You’re welcome, Joshua. Remember- God gives us the chance to be happy, but it’s our job to seize the opportunity. Go out and seize the opportunity God has given you."</div> <bR> <div>   " Yes, sir. I will. I promise."</div> <bR> <div>   " Good… until we meet again, Joshua," Isaac said and with a grace that belied his age, made his way down the steps. </div> <bR> <div>   Josh watched him until he was out of sight, and then returned to his place on the steps. He looked out at the lights dancing off the Reflecting Pool, and thought about all the things that Isaac had told him- the lessons he tried to teach him. He also thought of how odd it was to have run into someone like Isaac - especially tonight. Earlier  he had been wishing for the clear head and sound advice of someone like his grandfather or father, then he had quite literally run into Isaac. For once he wouldn’t question his good fortune and would simply accept the gift he’d been given. </div> <bR> <div>   Josh remained there on the steps for a while, going over the events of the evening, until finally he decided it was time for him to go home and try to get some much needed rest. He was about get up when he heard footsteps behind him and a very familiar voice. </div> <div>   </div> <div>   " Josh?" </div> <bR> <div> He turned to see Donna standing on the bottom step about ten feet away from him. </div> <bR> <div>   " Hey…what are you doing here?" </div> <bR> <div>  " I went out with some friends for a late dinner and I asked them to drop me off here. It’s such a nice night I thought I’d walk a little before picking up my car. What’s up?" she asked walking over to where he was. He noticed that her brow was creased the way it always did when she was worried or concerned. </div> <bR> <div>   " Nothing. I was just… I was out walking too." </div> <bR> <div>  " You always come here when something’s bothering you or you have a problem to sort out. So…what’s up? Anything I can help with?" </div> <bR> <div>   Josh looked at her for a minute, and then smiled.</div> <div>   </div> <div>  "No, that’s okay. I think I’ve got it all sorted out now. Thanks for asking though." </div> <bR> <div>  Donna tilted her head and gave him a hesitant smile, " You’re sure?" </div> <bR> <div>  " Yeah." </div> <bR> <div> " Okay… well I guess I’ll go get my car and go home then," she said with a sigh.</div> <bR> <div>   " Hey - wait up. I’ll walk with you." </div> <bR> <div>   Josh fell into step with Donna, his hand at the small of her back, chatting casually about their separate evenings as they walked. She told him about a funny thing that happened at the restaurant, but Josh didn’t mention his encounter with Isaac. He knew he would someday. Maybe when they were old and grey and surrounded by their grandchildren. For right now he took joy in listening to her voice and seeing the sparkle in her eyes when she laughed. Most of all he remembered the wise words of a man who had happened along at just the right time to put him on the right path. A path he intended to follow.</div> <bR> <div>     ~ not quite the end…</div> <bR> <div> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</div> <bR> <bR> <div>   Epilouge ~</div> <div>    </div> <div>    Almost exactly four years later Josh found himself taking the same path he had the night he met Isaac. He was lost in his thoughts this night too, but not so lost that he didn’t notice Isaac leaning against the wall near the northwest corner of the Museum. He looked precisely as though he had been waiting patiently for Josh to show up. </div> <bR> <div>   " Hello Joshua. How have you been?"</div> <bR> <div>  " Good , Isaac. You?" </div> <bR> <div>  " A little better than some days- a little worse than others. It’s good to see you." </div> <bR> <div>  " You too. I was sort of hoping I’d run into you…"Josh said, looking north towards the path they had taken once before. </div> <bR> <div>   " Something on your mind, Joshua?"</div> <bR> <div>   " You could tell, huh?" </div> <bR> <div>   " It’s that face, my boy- but then you knew that," Isaac replied with a smile.</div> <bR> <div>   " You seem to read it better than most though. I guess that’s a good thing for me." </div> <bR> <div>  " I’m not the only one." </div> <div>   </div> <div>  " That’s true- but then I’ve never been able to get anything past her. In fact I stopped trying a long time ago. " </div> <bR> <div>  " She’s a sharp girl. So… is that why you’re out walking instead of at home enjoying her company? You don’t want her ‘reading you’ too closely?"</div> <bR> <div> " That’s part of it. I don’t want her to pick up on my worries. Not right now. She has enough to deal with." </div> <bR> <div> " What’s bothering you?"</div> <bR> <div> " We‘re going to have a baby."</div> <bR> <div>  " That’s wonderful!" Isaac replied with a wide grin, clapping Josh on the back.</div> <bR> <div>  " It is. It really is…"</div> <bR> <div>  " So- why do have that look on your face? You should be rejoicing." </div> <bR> <div> " I am…but I’m also scared to death." </div> <bR> <div>  " Scared of a little baby? What on earth for?"</div> <bR> <div>  " Well, we’re starting a whole new chapter of our life. In another few months we’ll be leaving the White House. We’ll have a brand new child. Everything is going to be different. I’m just scared of …I guess I’m scared of scewing it up."  </div> <bR> <div>     Isaac looked at him for a moment very intently, and then finally he broke into a wide smile.</div> <bR> <div> " Joshua, do you think you’re the first potential parent to feel this way? All of us have felt it. It comes with the realization that we are responsible for the shaping and nuturing of a human life. That everything we do has an impact on their lives. What you’re feeling is natural."</div> <bR> <div>   " Well- I guess that, at least, is nice to know. I doesn’t do much for the state of my nerves though." </div> <bR> <div>  " Then remember this- you’re not alone. You have Donna and your friends. There are many people who care for you and the family you are beginning. Many more than you realize, Joshua," Isaac said with a significant look in Josh’s direction. </div> <bR> <div>   Josh stood there for a moment mulling over Isaac’s words, until finally a small smile turned the corners of his mouth, and shaking his head slightly, he turned to Isaac. </div> <bR> <div>   " You always seem to know just the right thing to say to me. Why is that?"</div> <bR> <div>   " I told you, Joshua- I’m an old man…this is a well traveled road for me. When you’re my age it will be the same for you," Isaac replied with conviction.</div> <bR> <div>   " I can only hope that by then I’ll be as wise and insightful as you. Somehow I kind of doubt it." </div> <bR> <div>   Isaac’s only response to that was to shrug and direct a sly grin at Josh, " You never know Joshua- you may surprise yourself." </div> <bR> <div>          </div> <bR> <bR> <div> THE END</div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div>  </div> <bR> <div>   </div> <bR> <div>    </div> <bR> <div>   </div> <bR> <div>   </div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div>    </div> <div>   </div> <div>   </div> <div>   </div> <div>   </div> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>