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FF RACE CRAP
Some people say Barret is an African-American... WHAT? There is no Africa or America in the world of FF7!!!!! But still... following this Politically "Correct" attitude I came up with the ethnic/racial/natinality of the other FF characters. Enjoy.
The winners are: Spain, Italy, Germany and England. Where are the French?
FINAL FANTSY 4
Cecil: He has blue eyes and white hair, like Cervantes and Ivy, so he must be either Spanish or English. But Cecil is an English name, and he's called Cecil not Cecilio. So he's English, unless the Japanese changed the name to Cecil from Cecilio in the English version.
Rosa: She has an Italian or Spanish name. Spanish or Italian. But It's more popular in Spanish, so she's Spanish.
Cid: Cid means "Lord" in arabic. The most famous Cid is a Spanish knight that fought against and with the moors. Cid can be either Spanish or Arabic.
Kain: I dont know. Where was the garden of Eden? No-body knows. Edenopian.
Rydia: Sounds like Lydia, a common name in western Europe. Since most female Italian and Spanish names end in a then she could be either Spanish or Italian.
Tellah: Sounds like an arthurian name to me. So he's English. But he reminds me of a jewish Rabbi.
Eduard: He's french. DUH!
Yang: Japanese, because he fights karate. But he looks more Chinese to me and his name is Chinese too.
Porom & Polom: I do not have a clue. Someone told me they were mysidian, but this is the stupid version of the Final Fantasy character's nationality list.
Baigan: I dont know, but he has a tan and blond hair.. hmm.. California.
Dwarves: They're black. Literaly. There are no real black people and no real white ones.
Edge: He looks like a latin-american rebel. So he's Colombian. But he's a Ninja.. That's Japanese. Fujimori (dictator? of Perú) is a Japanese guy born in Perú so he is both latin-american and japanese. Then Edge is Peruvian.
Fusoya: He's Greek. He reminds me of those stupid philosophers.
Rubicant: He likes fire so he's from Hell.
Valvalis: Really pale and blond. Must be Irish. Or Finnish. Or anything up there.
Kainazo: It's a TURTLE!
Milon: We cant see, since before he turns into a monster he hides his face and body under a robe.. BUT.. Milon sounds like Milan which is a city in Italy.. And I've heard of Spaniards with that name so he can be Spanish or Italian. Maybe German, to vary.
Zeromus/Zemus: Greek or Roman.
Golbez: Sounds like Gomez He has a z at the end of his name so he must be hispanic/Spanish. That means Cecil is Spanish, no English. Fusoya is Cecil's Uncle and he's greek, so Cecil should be called El Greco, like the Spanish painter that came from greece.
Dr. Lugage: German.. All scientists are german.
FINAL FANTASY 6
Terra: Means earth in Latin. So she must be from any of the romantic countries. She's quiet and doesn't talk too much so she's french. Spanish, Portugese and Italians like to talk.
Locke: English like John Locke.
Edgar/Sabin: Sabin looks like Arnold Swatchasdnanfldfn so they must be Austrian. But they live in the desert.. An Austrian colony in the Sahara?
Kefka: Franz Kafka was a Czech Jewish, so is Kefka.
Celes: She looks German and was born in the facist Empire. Germany was the most powerful facist country. But she also looks like Pamela Anderson, so let's say she's American.
Cyan: In the credits his last name sounds Italian or Spanish and he looks like it. Italians had cute Roman temples instead of Cool Castles like Doma, so he's Spanish.
Shadow/Relm: Shadow is Relm's dad and Relm looks Irish, I dont know why. No-body will ever know. let's say Dutch since Van Gohg was a great painter, like Relm.
Gau: The veldt is in Africa, so Gau is African, but he was lost there like Tarzan, so maybe he's English. Gee, all African people are white in this game.
Dadaluma: The only black person in this entire game, he's from Zozo which looks like the Ghetto in New York, so he's American.
Rachel: Cyan and Rachel are the only dark-haired people in this game. Rachel reminds me of Catherine Zeta Jones so she is Welch.
Bismark: A German whale.
Mog: He's a moogle.. and a guy. I think.
Interceptor: Dobermans are from Apolda (Germany), so he's German.
Setzer: His last name is Gabiani. So he's Italian.
Strago: I dont know! His town reminds me of Ireland so again, for no reason he's Irish.
Sigfried: German.
Cid: See Final Fantasy 4. A Spaniard wearing a rain-coat.
FINAL FANTASY 7
Cloud: Really, "only in america" you get a guy named Cloud. White Anglo Saxon American.
Barret: He's black. Some people say Afro-American, but there is no Africa or America in the world of FF7, so he's Corel-Midgarian.
Sephiroth: Like Cervantes, Ivy and Cecil. See Final Fantasy 4 on top of this page. Actually, Sephy is Australian, he calls Cloud "mate" in many of the homosexual porn comics little horny girl-fans make.
Zack: I dont know!
Aerith: I dont know, there is at least ONE brown-haired girl with Blue eyes in every single country. I have a cousin that looks like her, only 8 years old.
Tifa: I dont know. If Barret is African-American, Yuffie Japanese, Cloud White American and Cid a white European, the Tifa must be hispanic. Hispanic girls dress up like Tifa since Central and northern south America is pretty hot.
Cid: Again.
Red: He's a Native American Wolf.
Yuffie: Japanese, I think.
Vincent: ??????
FINAL FANTASY 8
Squall: A white american who listens to too much NIN and plays too much DOOM and QUAKE.
Rinoa: From Hong-Kong?? Half Chinese, half English.. OR.. An English girl that looks japanese...Or a Chinese girl that looks English.
Selphie: Another white american, but this times the criminals are Britney Spears and N'sync.
Cid: I didn't know Robin Williams was Spanish.
Quistis: Japanese name... But she looks swedish.
Laguna: Laguna means lagoon in some romantic languages.. But in spanish it would be a girl's name since it ends in a. He's French then.
Kiros: Like Michael Jackson but without the whiteness.
Zell: California.
The sniper: From the so-called "bible-belt".
Bah. I dont remember any other characters from this game.. Thank you God.
