I know you will most likely never see this page; however, you must know that we were destined to be together. I discovered that we were destined to be together last sunday (7/16) afternoon when things finally ended with the last girl I wanted to date. I'd just been saying the night before that if things didn't work out between her and I that I'd just have to start dating Gwen Stefani. Well, in less than 6 hours from making that statement, things ended horribly witish the last girl... so now it's you. Why you? I was tired of going after girls that I could never be with. I decided that I could no longer allow myself to get hurt by letting my heart be trampled by unattainable girls... and you seem nice enough so I figured what the heck. Now all I need is to meet you and for you to fall desperately in love with me and I'll be set. I figure this can all be done in the next coupla weeks, maybe. You can write a few songs about me and how perfect I am and how all other girls grovel pathetically in my presence. After a brief stint, no more than 6 mo (I am still in my prime you know) I'll have to leave you.... but hey, you'll then have enough angst and hurt from my dumping you that you'll be able to write an entire new album about how you can't live without me. If I like it, I might even come back to you. But now it appears I am getting ahead of myself. I still haven't met you and you still haven't fallen desperately in love with me, so I should focus my efforts in that direction. It seems your in to guys that are in bands. I was in band in the 5th grade, eh? Eh? What do you say, are you interested....? I played the flute you know. Hmm...? Wanna date me?

I had hoped by now you'd be feeding me grapes and fulfilling all of my sexual fantasies; however, I have yet to hear from your people. Is it so much to ask for you to come across this webpage and fall hopelessly in love with me? I will be lenient since you still have never heard of me and therefore cannot fall in love with me; however, I must warn that I cannot wait for you forever. I see the way women look at me and know that it will only be so long before I give into the vile temptresses again. It is for this reason that I suggest you make the first move by contacting me. If you include something personal in your letter or phone call, I may schedule a meeting with you instead of just sending you a signed photograph as I do all my other fans... wait a minute, I'm sorry. I'm confusing our roles again. No bother, I hope to hear from you soon, for we are destined to be together.

How terribly tragic... You haven't even had the chance to meet me, and my interest in you is already waning. Perhaps its for the best, you'd only be hurt by me, you know. I'll not burn the bridge for you in my heart, I'll let it stand until it falls, but for your sake, you'd better somehow meet and fall in love with me or you just might mss your chance!

I checked my email 15 times the other day to see if you had written me... What gives? Is it so much to ask that you take time out of touring and making public appearances to find the next big love of your life? I mean, yeah... ok, my website is one tiny, obscure site in a throng of internet sites that grows on a daily basis, and I haven't in any way tried to contact you excluding this little page that I have devoted to you... but COME ON!!! If you don't get your act together I'm gonna start looking for love in other places missy. I simply won't put up with this shit anymore!

Well it's been a few days and I've had time to cool off and... I'm sorry. I just.... I don't know. I still have yet to hear from you and I keep thinking that it's never gonna happen with you and me and I don't know I just get so frustrated. I didn't mean those things I said. I'd considered just deleting my last letter to you since you probably haven't seen this page yet, but honesty is the cornerstone of any good relationship, or so I've heard. It's not like I planned on being totally faithful to you anyway, but since I'm upfront about that... I don't see it as a problem. I just wanted you to know that I'm not still mad at you. If it means waiting a few more days for you to find me and fall desperately in love with me, so be it.

This is refuckindiculous... sure, this is an obscure little site amoungst millions of other personal websites, but COME ON!!!! I mean seriously, I sound like a broken record! Why wont you contact me? What, because I'm the guy I have to make the first step?!? That's bullshit. We gave you the right to vote so that you could come up to us and ask us out once in a while. Sheesh! Its not like you could do any better.... bitch!

I am Soooooooooo sorry! I dont know what came over me. It was like a demon possesed me. I'll never do it again baby, reconsider.... reconsider! My world revolves around you, baby.... can't you see that! Don't let a few words said in passion turn you against me... I'm a great guy, really.... I'd tell you more about myself but I'm far too humble for that.