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People all over the world speak English. Hmmm... better rephrase that. People all over the world TRY to speak English.
Here's a list of interesting signs seen by travellers in various countries.
In a Romanian elevator: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
In a French hotel: Please leave your values at the front desk.
In a Greek hotel: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 a.m. daily.
In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
In a Russian hotel: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
In a Hong Kong supermarket: For your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service.
In a South African shop: We will execute customers in strict rotation.
In a Kenyan newspaper: A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.
In a Swiss hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby by used for this purpose.
At an Indian shop: Froot Stal -- froot chooce sold here.
At a Hong Kong dentist's: Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
At a Czech tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city tours. We guarantee no miscarriages.
Advert for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride on your own ass?
On a battery in India: Made by Japan in India.
On a Hong Kong Can: Guaranteed to work throughout its working life.
On a Japanese detour sign: Stop. Drive sideways.
In a Swiss Inn: Special Today - no ice cream.
At a Danish travel agency: We take your bags and send them in all directions.
In Norway: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
At an Italian doctor's: Specialist in women and other diseases.
At a Mexican hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
In a Japanese Car Hire Information Brochure: When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.
In a Spanish shop: English well talking.
Also: Here speeching American.
An ad for laundry: We don't tear your clothes with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
On an Indian building: National Institute for Stuttering Management and Behaviour Technology.
"My wife had a wheelbarrow sir."
"A what?"
"May..maybe it was a pushchair... or a bicycle..."
Needless to say, the guy was fired. He returned sadly home. When he got there, he asked his wife what had put her in hospital.
"A miscarriage."
"Oh yes. I knew it was something with wheels."
