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Sports

Imagine what the world would be like without sports -- no Saturday afternoon games, no skaters bashing each other with iron pipes, no excuses to avoid work, no Dominique Moceanu... mein Gott! (Gott-ess?)

• Memorable sayings of boxers:

  Joe Frazier once met fellow-boxer Ken Norton at a social gathering. I am not sure if a fight followed the conversation below.

  Frazier: Hey man, what you been doing?
  Norton: My wife just had a baby.
  Frazier? Congratulations! Whose baby is it?

• Definitions of various footballs (eh???):

  Australian Rules Football
  The rules of this game are very simple, being
  

  1. It begins
  2. It ends

• Abbott and Costello on soccer:
  
  Chris: Let me see if I have understood anything here. Who's the rightback?
  Jonathan: Yep, Who.
  Chris: I dont know!
  Jonathan: No, he's our leftback!
  Chris: What!
  Jonathan: Centerback.

• Cricketing definitions

  MISFIELD - Daughter of Mr. Field.
  NON STRIKER - Pacifist.
  NOT OUT - A quiet night at home.

• More cricketing definitions

• Rules of that daft game.

• Sports Shorts -- Memorable sayings

  I may have exaggerated a little when I said that 80% of the top women tennis players are fat pigs. It's only 75%. --- Richard Krajiceck, 1992

  The team is boring and lifeless. For twenty years the Boston Celtics have stood for something. Now they only stand for the anthem. -- Bob Ryan

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