Monty Python

Monty Python's Flying Circus -- Top from left- Graham Chapman, Eric Idle, Terry Gilliam. Bottom from left- Terry Jones, John Cleese, Michael Palin

Terry Jones is most often remembered for his work on Monty Python, the influential British sixties comedy series which went on to create five films, many books, and several albums, and which changed the shape of comedy forever. It is almost impossible to write a paragraph about Monty Python, so I have decided to do the same as another Python site and just not write one. Instead, there is a better attempt at the BBC's Comedy Zone.

As I mentioned on the start page, Terry usually played the straight parts in sketches, but didn't mind acting in a very silly manner when required. Although all of the Pythons dressed up as women from time to time (Can we blame them?), he is remembered the most for it, his high pitched voice proving perfect for the job.

Sounds

Many of these sounds from the Python's TV series are taken from Maverick's excellent Python site, MontyPython.Net. Some others are taken by myself, and these are mostly from the TV or from albums such as Live at Dury Lane. If you have any sense at all, go out and buy some of the Python's own stuff, as they really are a very, very, very, very, very good comedy group indeed.
If they don't seem to work well on your system, refer to the main page of this site for instructions on how to fix them.

Series One

The entire Flying Sheep sketch

The entire Nudge Nudge sketch

"Are you insinuating something?"

The entire 20th Century Vole sketch

"Come on!" "Splunge!" "Did he say splunge?"

The entire Wizzo Chocolate Company sketch

"If we took the bones out it wouldn't be crunchy,would it?"

"LARK'S VOMIT?!?!?" "Correct." "It doesn't say anything here about lark's vomit!" "Ah, it does, on the bottom of the box, after 'monosodium glutamate'."

"And what is this one: Spring Surprise?" "Ah, that's one of our specialities. Covered in darkest, velvety-smooth chocolate, when you pop it into your mouth, stainless steel bolts spring out and plunge straight through both cheeks."

"Paratroops, Dino." "Be a shame if someone was to set fire to them."

Series Two

"Er, er, nobody, erm..." "Expects..." "Nobody expects..." "The Spanish Inquisition!" "I know, I know! Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition! In fact, those who do expect..." "Our chief weapons are!" "Our chief weapons are, erm..." "Surprise." "Erm, surprise..." "Stop, stop, stop! Stop there, stop there!"

The entire Gas Cooker sketch

"Malcolm Peter Brian Telescope Adrian Blackpool Rock Stoat-Gobbler John Raw Vegetable *neigh* Norman Micheal *ring* *whistle* Edward *honk honk* Chuff Chuff Chuff *Bzzz* Thomas Mooo 'We'll Keep A Welcome In' *bang* William *Oooooyu* 'Raindrops Keep Falling On My' *Wheee* 'Don't Sleep In The Subway' *Cuckoo Cuckoo* Neighooohoooo...Smith." "Very Silly." "Two."

The entire Spot the Brain Cell sketch

"Hello, well it's just after 8 o'clock, and time for the penguin on top of your television set to explode. "

"Well, what you got?" "Well, there's egg and bacon, egg sausage and bacon, egg and Spam, egg bacon and Spam, egg bacon sausage and Spam, Spam bacon sausage and Spam, Spam egg Spam Spam bacon and Spam, Spam sausage Spam Spam Spam bacon Spam tomato and Spam, Spam Spam Spam egg and Spam, Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam baked beans Spam Spam Spam (Vikings sing) or Lobster Thermidor au Crevettes with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and Spam."

"We at the Church of the Divine Loony believe in the power of prayer to turn the head purple! Ha, ha, ha!"

Series Three

"Ladies and gentlemen, I don't think any of our contestants this evening have succeeded in encapsulating the intricacies of Proust's masterwork, so I'm going to award the first prize this evening to the girl with the biggest tits."

"What fish you got that isn't jugged then?" "Rabbit." "What, rabbit fish?" "Yes, it's got fins." "Is it dead?" "Well, it was coughing up blood last night"

"Rat cake, rat sorbet, rat pudding, or strawberry tart." "Strawberry tart?" "Well, it's got some rat in it." "How much?" "Three. Rather a lot really."

Miscellaneous

The entire Four Yorkshire Men sketch

"Well, of course, we had it tough. We used to have to get up out of the shoebox at twelve o'clock at night and lick the road clean with our tongues! We had to eat two handfuls of cold gravel while working twenty four hours a day down mill for sixpence every four years and when we got home, our Dad would slice us in two with breadknife."

A selection of Monty Python songs, sung or written by Terry, can be found on my Monty Python Songs page.

Mail me at webmaster@terryjones.cjb.net